


Glass Cannon

by PerfectlyHopeless



Series: Glass Cannon & Other Short Works [1]
Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Character Study, Destroy Ending, EGM/Expanded Galaxy Mod, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, I'm certain I'm missing some people in the characters list, ME2, ME3, MEHEM/Mass Effect Happy Ending Mod, Paragade (Mass Effect), Slow Burn, Smut, Sole Survivor (Mass Effect), Spacer (Mass Effect), no Kasumi because I didn't have the DLC when I started this fic, past Shepard/Kaidan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-01-29 18:10:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 42,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12636429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerfectlyHopeless/pseuds/PerfectlyHopeless
Summary: Rhea Shepard was brought back from death by her enemy. Everything changed in the two years that she was under, and it cost her everything. Her family, her loved ones... Fortunately, she found some friends who still believe in her and her goals to save the galaxy.(Character Study spanning the entirety of ME2 and ME3)





	1. Part 1 - Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there, and happy N7 Day! In honor of the 10th N7 Day since ME was released, I've decided to post the first section of my long ongoing project; a character study for my canon Shepard, Rhea. I've been working on this for well over a year and told myself that I'd only post once I was finished with the whole thing. I plan to return my focus to Glass Cannon after the completion of my NaNoWriMo project, but until then, here's a little snippet of what I've done.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

* * *

 

She lied back on the bed and fidgeted with the velvet bag that held several heavy marbles made of colored glass. They’d been made to resemble Earth and other human colonies, along with other homeworlds and their colonies. Rhea flexed her fingers, the trigger to start up her biotics, and dumped the marbles out beside her. Her fingers lit up blue as the mass effect energy surged through her. Bright green eyes narrowed as she focused on the little orbs, channeling her energy outwards and lifting them up, suspending them in midair. The corners of her mouth quirked upwards into a smile, the Vanguard proud of herself. With a little more direction she got the marbles to start turning in slow circles, orbiting an imaginary sun.

It was her own little form of symbolism. All the worlds were important, and to that extent all of the species of aliens that lived in the galaxy. Humans, asari, salarians, turians, volus, elcor, batarians… Regardless of origin they were all alive. They all deserved to live.

Until they tried to kill her, at least.

Rhea Shepard tended to be loud and brash. She acted before she thought more often than not, trusting her instincts. The marbles were a gift from her mother when she’d returned from Akuze and was given the N7 designation that placed her in high regard in the Alliance. Her mother had given them to her as a reminder that it was important not only to stand for the human race, but for all races. If they were to continue in the universe, it was important to remember who their allies were. The marbles were to remind her to slow down and relax, though for a long time she used them to distract herself from the trauma of having fifty other marines die under her.

She looked up and watched as Thessia passed by Earth and Tuchanka, and then Irune as it went by Palaven and Sur’Kesh. The little ‘planets’ went in slow, gentle circles. Rhea breathed in deeply, exhaling as Earth made its full rotation. Slow and steady. Breathe in and out. The simple meditation kept her mind occupied until she got a ping on her omni-tool.

The marbles fell onto the hard mattress and Rhea gathered them back up, her biotics flaring up a bit with her irritation as she carefully put them back into the bag. She tapped on her omni-tool to answer the call.

“What is it?” she snapped.

“ _You okay in there, Shepard?_ ”

Rhea rolled her eyes at the sound of Kaidan’s voice and she relaxed again, lying back on the flat pillows. “You've seen me naked and you’re still calling me Shepard, Kaidan?” she teased. He was so easy to poke fun at. “I guess that it’s better than ‘Commander.’”

He laughed lightly at this. “ _Sorry, Rhea. Force of habit._ ”

She hummed in approval, smiling to herself. “That’s better.”

The ship rattled, lights flickering. Rhea’s eyes narrowed as she got to her feet, totally focused. “Did you feel that?” she spoke into the mic.

“ _Yeah, I…_ ” The comm went silent, only static remaining as something jammed the signal.

Her heart beat picked up its pace and she hurried to put on her armor, tucking the marbles into a pocket and putting her helmet on when she saw the flames. Kaidan came from behind her as the ship shook yet again, something exploding.

She snapped at him to get going to the escape pods, her patience short as she shifted quickly into Commander Mode. Joker was still on the bridge and she needed to get his stubborn ass out of there before he went down with the ship. Whatever was attacking them wasn't holding back. Most of the ship had already broken off and floated away as she trusted her boots to hold her onto the floor.

Joker was still doing his best to save the _Normandy,_ the stubborn pilot still at the helm, but there was nothing he could do. Nothing that anyone could do anymore. Rhea got him off of the bridge and into a pod. She was about to follow after him but another explosion pushed her away, chemical fires blocking the way in while she clung tightly to the mangled frame of her ship. Before she floated away she reached out, smashing her hand against the control panel and launching her pilot away from the ship. One last explosion forced her back into the nothingness that swallowed her.

Rhea floated in space for a moment, shock holding her as the universe turned around her in slow motion, and the silence that surrounded her was deafening. The only thing she could hear was the sound of her panting breath against the inside of her helmet.

 _Fuck,_ she thought, looking around her as the remains of the _Normandy_ blew apart to pieces. _Just… just breathe. Shallow breaths, don’t waste your oxygen. You’ll be okay, someone will… will come for you… you’re not gonna die here._

As though on cue the sensors in her helmet went haywire, her oxygen levels running out quickly as the tubes connected to her life support systems snapped. Rhea gasped desperately as she tried to hold the tubes in place, wanting to stay alive for as long as she could.

_No! Not like this!_

The space around her went dark and cold, the last thing she heard her own dying breaths as the darkness swallowed her up.

 

* * *

 

 

When Rhea came to she felt like she was dying again, but this was so much worse. There was so much pain, too much of everything as her senses were overloaded with new information. Hot and cold and painful and cloudy. She couldn't focus, only seeing a pair of icy blue eyes looking down at her before she went out again.

The next time was different. She felt as though she’d been asleep for way too long, her body stiff and sore. Rhea didn't want to move, but there was a voice telling her to wake up and get moving. She was instantly irritable, not fond of taking orders from mysterious voices, but this one was eventually given a name: Miranda. As Rhea moved through the burning building, shooting down mechs, she eventually put together what had happened and what was happening with the help of a young man named Jacob.

She'd been dead for two years before they brought her back to life. The ‘they’ was Cerberus, the pro-human terrorist group that she'd dealt with during her investigation against the rogue Spectre Saren. It was all just a massive clusterfuck of bullshit and she didn't like it one bit. But she held her tongue, only snapping a couple times at the individual who called himself “The Illusive Man”. Anyone with an alias like that wasn't to be trusted.

Rhea kept herself composed for a short while, but it was only a matter of time before she snapped. She'd just lost a lot, all of her close friends and Kaidan. They were gone. She held herself together as she and Miranda, along with Jacob, went out to investigate a colony that had gone dark.

There was no one there. Rhea kept her finger on the trigger of her shotgun, drumming against the barrel as they went on through the small community houses. Her brows furrowed as they found nothing but hostile mechs.

The next building they entered had people. Quarians, to be exact. Rhea’s eyes went wide as she recognized the voice of her now matured former crew member.

Tali’Zorah was just as shocked to see the Commander, finding it hard to believe that she was alive. Rhea reminded Tali of the data she gave her for her Pilgrimage, proof that she was the same person. She wanted to hug Tali, relieved to find some piece of her past still intact, but they had work to do.

The two teams agreed to work together to find a missing quarian named Veetor who had been on the colony for his Pilgrimage. Rhea was happy to help in any way she could.

They fought through mechs the whole way, the other quarians turning against them. They died like the idiots they were, Rhea not feeling much remorse for them. She was far more gentle with the traumatized Veetor when they found him, speaking to him carefully and treating him like the fragile creature he was at that point. Rhea wasn't about to let Miranda interrogate the boy and made sure that he went back with Tali, her former crew mate giving her the data the boy had on his omni-tool.

They'd learned many things with this. First, that Rhea had a soft spot for her friends and young people. Second, that insectoid creatures called Collectors were after human colonies and abducting people for an unknown reason. Third, that she was willing to work with Cerberus on this, but only this. She'd need a team, and they set up dossiers for her. She wasn't happy about not being able to choose her teammates, but she contained her rage long enough to find that her pilot was alive and with Cerberus. She would have hugged Joker if not for the fact she could break his fragile ass with a handshake. He was there to work for her as the pilot of their new ship, a larger frigate designed after her namesake, the _Normandy_ SR1 _._

The SR2 had a similar layout but with lots of new functions and a totally different crew. Rhea was bitter for a while, still wanting to crush something with her biotics, but she toured the new ship and introduced herself to new faces and the older face of Dr. Chakwas. Seeing her was a comfort, a little piece of the past that made it feel like maybe things hadn't changed so much.

Her new personal cabin was a welcome change, however. She had space to move around, a couch with a coffee table, a desk with a computer and comm station, stereo, her own bathroom and shower. It was much bigger than anything she'd had when living on ships before. She let herself smile and unwind, stripping off her armor before stepping into the shower.

 _Hot water_ , she thought happily as she turned the handle, letting the warmth wash away her stress. She flexed her fingers, making a little mass effect field to catch the water droplets before they hit the ground. It didn't last, her ability to control not what it was before. Whatever Cerberus had done to it, it seemed as though her implant had gotten an upgrade while she was on the operating table. She rubbed at her neck, fingertips brushing at the scars along the base of her skull. She couldn't feel it, but she knew that it was there. It was the only reason why she had any control over her biotics. Control that she'd have to train herself with again. Her biotics were stronger, that was a given. And she'd learned a couple new tricks since she’d woken up. Tricks that suited her big personality.

Rhea got out and dried off, padding over to her dresser and pulling out some clothes to sleep in. The ship’s night cycle was starting and she wanted to get as much sleep as possible. Though as she crawled under the covers, she was suddenly reminded of what all she lost. The marbles from her mother were gone, lost forever it seemed. Her Alliance dogtags were no longer around her neck, also lost. Tears pricked at her eyes as she shut the cabin lights off, an empty fish tank on the far side dimly lit up.

There was so much missing now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this! There will be more incoming by the end of the year *fingers crossed*, so subscribe if you're so inclined. Otherwise, please let me know your thoughts in the comments! I know that not much happened, but it's just the beginning. 
> 
> Constructive criticism is both welcomed and encouraged! 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. Until next time <3


	2. Part 1 - Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another year, another N7 Day arrives! To celebrate, I'm uploading the latest chapter of Glass Cannon, and from here on out I'll be making weekly updates! I'm very close to being finished with my fic document, so I'm going to go ahead and start posting regularly. This has been my love child for the better part of 2 years, and I sincerely hope that you enjoy something from this self indulgent fic <3

* * *

 

Omega was a pit full of trash and shitty alcohol. She encountered the first person on her list when she first walked in, Zaeed Massani, the old mercenary finishing up a job of his own before she had him report to the _Normandy._

She was on the crowded makeshift station to find a salarian named Mordin Solus and a faceless vigilante who called himself Archangel. They needed a tech expert and Mordin was the one that the Illusive Man had told her to find. But before she could start to find him, the self-proclaimed leader of the rock had summoned her. Which wasn’t as bad as Rhea had anticipated, though Aria T’Loak was something else entirely: an asari with a superiority complex and lots of connections. Rhea assumed that she had some substantial amount of power, but her presence alone was enough to deter nearly anyone.

Rhea wasn’t just anyone. Aria didn’t scare her, but she respected the woman. And Aria proved to be a resourceful woman. She had contacts and information and used both of these things to assist Rhea with finding both the salarian scientist and the vigilante.

Mordin Solus was a hard man to find, his clinic in the quarantined residential district filled with the victims of a plague that was killing nearly every alien in the area. But the brilliant scientist had made a cure; however, distributing said cure wasn’t nearly as easy as acquiring it. Rhea and the Cerberus operatives that were accompanying her had to fight through Blood Pack mercenaries that had taken advantage of the plague and taken control of the district in order to insert the cure into the life support systems and allow for easy distribution. That was what it took to get Mordin to leave his clinic in the hands of his assistant.

By the time she was back on the _Normandy,_ Rhea was ready to go back to bed. She’d yet to really recover from her two year long nap, and pushing herself like she used to wasn’t nearly as easy as it once was. But she didn’t have time for that. The mercenaries were already on their way to kill Archangel, and though she’d stopped an idiot teenager from signing on to be a freelancer she knew that others wouldn’t be as fortunate. She rinsed off quickly in her shower, cold water to keep her alert, and put her armor back on. She summoned Jacob and Zaeed to the bridge to help her out with this one, wanting a little extra muscle that Miranda’s biotics wouldn’t be able to help with.  

It was easy enough to blend in with the freelancing mercenaries. None of them suspected that she was there to help out Archangel, though she’d asked enough questions that they should have been suspicious. All that she gathered was that he had pissed off the three biggest merc bands on Omega. The Eclipse, the Blood Pack, and the Blue Suns were all teaming up to take down the poor bastard. Eventually someone let it slip that he was a turian. Rhea was reminded briefly of her old companion, Garrus Vakarian. He was like her in a lot of ways and the two had bonded back on the original _Normandy._ They’d become good friends easily by the end, getting past the initial relationship of mentor and mentored to become close. She wondered where he’d gone off to since then.

She kept these wonderings short and did her best to maintain her focus. The batarian that she’d been directed to speak with, Cathka, was fixing a gunship when the freelancers were called out. Rhea glanced down at a sparking tool. She didn’t know what it was, but she picked it up and stuck the thing in the back of Cathka’s armor, easily preventing him from finishing his repairs. Jacob looked at her nervously as she regrouped with them, while Zaeed looked on with what seemed to be a proud smirk. Rhea just grinned and gave the Cerberus agent a suggestive smile in the hopes that he would get flustered. When his reaction wasn’t what she hoped, she gave up and pulled out her shotgun. Following the freelancers, she smiled slyly and kept on behind them.

“These guys are in for a hell of a surprise,” she said, smirking and firing her shotgun into the back of the freelancer in front of her. The man went down like a ton of bricks and the others began to panic.

Rhea flexed her fingers and the familiar blue light lit up around her arm as she channeled the energy to an unsuspecting freelancer across the room. The freelancer shot up into the air, slamming back down to the ground with such force that his bones were surely shattered. One made the mistake of shooting at her, his shot grazing her shields when another from above suddenly took them out. She angrily looked up and at the scope of the sniper rifle staring her down. Archangel must have mistaken her for one of the poor bastards that she was taking apart. He didn’t fire again, however, apparently realizing that she was friend and not foe.

The freelancer that shot at her fired again, barely grazing her shoulder with his poor shot. Rhea narrowed her eyes at him, her biotics making a field around her as she shifted the power into herself. She used her body as a biotic wrecking ball, charging forward and into him with such force that he was flung across the hall. She reacted quickly, firing a shot into him and the guy ready to shoot at her. From behind her Jacob and Zaeed were working on killing off more of the mercs. Rhea hacked the controls of the door that was preventing her from getting to Archangel and stepped in, putting her gun on the small of her back to show that she wouldn’t hurt him.

“Archangel?” she asked, addressing the figure in black and blue armor that seemed strangely familiar.

The vigilante held up his hand to show that he acknowledged her presence and kept looking through the scope of his sniper rifle. He fired off a round and there was a quiet ‘thump’ as a body fell to the ground. Seemingly satisfied, the armored figure stood and moved to take off his helmet. As he sat down on the back of a chair, Rhea’s eyes went wide at the sight of his familiar face.

“Shepard,” Garrus said, looking her up and down. He towered over her small form when standing, only slightly less so when sitting as he was. “I thought you were dead.”

Rhea felt as though she could hug him as well, yet another friend still intact. “Garrus!” she exclaimed, grinning as she threw her arms out. “You’re alive! What are you doing here?”

“Just keeping my skills sharp,” he said, fatigue in his voice. “A little target practice.”

Her heart skipped a beat when she realized just how tired he was and she wondered what would have happened to him if she’d taken the nap she so wanted before. She forced herself to focus on the matter at hand, however, her own weariness catching up with her in that way. Rhea forced herself to fight off the incoming mercs coming in from below, drawing a pistol and switching between using her biotics and shooting. She stuck mostly with biotics. It was more draining, but she was built and trained for close quarters combat, not long distance like Garrus. For every merc she slammed into the ground, he shot another in the head with ease. She was by no means a poor shot, but she wished that she had that level of control.

The mercs changed their tactics soon enough, storming the lower levels in some attempt at taking them by surprise. Rhea felt angry when Garrus suggested splitting up. She’d just gotten back something of her old life, she wasn’t about to lose it.

“I’m not leaving you here alone,” she said firmly. She met Garrus' gaze and held it for a second as she directed Zaeed to stay and keep the turian safe.

Rhea and Jacob reloaded their weapons with new thermal clips and headed downstairs, a race against time to ensure the safety of their men above that was made all the more difficult by the fact that Rhea was going off of not much sleep and way too much action. Being pissed off at nearly everything that moved helped. Gave her something to focus on.

By the time the first two garage shutters were closed up Garrus was calling over the comm, telling her to hurry. Rhea resisted the urge to snap at him, instead whacking a Blood Pack vorcha in the face with the barrel of her shotgun, shooting him in the chest for good measure. Jacob used his biotics on an enemy that was going at her from behind and she smashed her hand against the button that told the shutter to close. The door closed just before more foes could get through and she breathed out a heavy sigh of relief.

“You good, Commander?” Jacob asked, looking down at her with concern in his gaze.

Rhea waved off his concern. “I’m fine, let’s just get moving.”

He didn’t seem convinced of the short woman’s words, but she was already on the move, sinking a clip into her shotgun and heading for the upstairs area. Mercs were making an attempt on Garrus and Zaeed. She grimaced at the fact there were even more idiots shooting at her and she flexed her fingers as she created a line of energy bursts that flung unsuspecting mercenaries across the room. Rhea charged from merc to merc, her clunky shotgun going through clips like crazy.

And then there was the krogan. The Blood Pack’s leader on Omega had a personal grudge against Archangel and was going to deal with him. At least, he tried. Rhea channeled her anger and focused it all on the krogan that had dared to go after her friend. It was a hard fight, one that drained her even further and eventually she just bashed the bastard’s head in with her shotgun, shooting him over and over. Zaeed seemed impressed while Jacob’s anxiety over his new Commander’s stability seemed to worsen.

Rhea wiped sweat from her brow and she stood, rolling out her shoulders and looking up at the turian who towered over her. “The Blue Suns are the only ones left at this point,” she said, mentally going over all the mercs that they had dealt with. “I say let’s take our chances and run for it while we can.” _I’ve had enough of this place to last a lifetime._

“I think you’re right,” Garrus agreed. “They’ve got the toughest group, but it’s nothing we haven’t faced before…”

He was suddenly cut off by the sound of engines and gunfire. All four of them hit the deck as the gunship she had sabotaged came flying by, shooting out the windows of their foxhole. She clutched her shotgun to her chest, trying to steady her quickly beating heart.

“Dammit!” Garrus exclaimed. “I thought I took that thing out already!”

Rhea scowled. “They fixed it, but not entirely,” she told him, looking over at his crap position behind a couch. “I made sure of that.”

She replaced her shotgun at the small of her back, drawing a heavy pistol from her hip and making sure she had enough clips before starting to shoot the bastards that the gunship had dropped off. They were a distraction that she remedied easily with bullets and biotics. The shields of the gunship weren’t so easily taken down, but she and her teammates broke through eventually.

As soon as the shields were down, Garrus ventured forth from his hiding spot, hoping to get a better angle from which he could help shoot the thing out of the air. But as soon as he moved the gunship locked onto him, shooting him while the pilot threw out taunts. By the time Garrus was able to aim his rifle the gunship had already fired a rocket at him, hitting him and knocking him to the ground.

Rhea’s green eyes widened in horror and she let out a terrified shriek as the world around her went in slow motion, adrenaline hitting her system harder. She watched as Garrus fell to the floor, unconscious and bleeding profusely. Rhea stood, no longer caring about staying in cover, and channeled as much biotic energy as she could, flinging it in the direction of the gunship. The resulting explosion sent the remains of the ship spiraling, crashing with a burst of flames. Rhea stared for a moment as sweat dripped into her eyes, her disheveled hair barely clinging to her hair tie while she breathed hard and heavy.

The distraction was only momentary.

“Garrus!” she screeched, running over and sliding on her knees across the floor into the pool of dark blue to reach him. She grabbed at his left arm, activating his omni-tool and hitting the button that would activate his suit’s medi-gel dispenser. She swore under her breath as she waited, her breathing choppy and her heart rate elevated. Then his bright blue eyes opened and he gasped for breath, struggling to breath as he choked on his own blood.

She panicked as she watch blue continue to drip onto the floor from the side of his face and down his neck. “No no no, come on Garrus. Stay with me, we’re getting you out of here.”

“He’s not gonna make it,” Zaeed said, ever the pessimist.

Rhea turned to snap at him, “Shut up!” She pulled up the radio on her omni-tool and called the ship, Commander Mode activating as she barked out her orders. “ _Normandy_ , we’ve got someone in critical condition, I need an evac shuttle with a med team on it ASAP. Target my location.”

“ _Aye aye, Commander_ ,” Joker’s voice came through the comm.

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, trying her best to ignore the smells of death and dust and smoke that lingered in the air.

_Just hold on…_

The shuttle arrived quickly, faster than she expected. A small med team, Dr. Chakwas’ assistants if she had to guess, retrieved Garrus on a stretcher and transported him onto the Kodiak shuttle. She kept a close eye on him as they traveled back to the _Normandy_ , refusing to leave his side as they moved him to the med bay.

She watched as Chakwas went to work, staying in the med bay even after her teammates told her to worry elsewhere.

“It's my ship,” she snapped at Jacob, eyes narrowing to glare at him, “and he's my friend. There is no way in hell that I'm leaving him.”

The medics let her sit on one of the beds on the opposite side of the room while they patched him up. She stripped herself of her blood covered armor plates, keeping the black undersuit on and her gaze locked on Garrus.

That is, she had been. She opened her eyes to find that she was in the captain's quarters. Rhea’s brows furrowed and she sat up to find that she was aching all over. She let out a groan, reaching up to rub out the tight muscles in her neck and shoulders. Getting out of bed, she found that she was still in her undersuit. She huffed and stripped, leaving it on the floor as she padded across the room and to her bathroom. While the water warmed, she stood in front of the mirror and looked herself over.

Her skin was a lot smoother than it had been before she died. The scars she’d had for years were faded or fading, the dark marks that once decorated her pale olive skin now dull imperfections while the webbed network of glowing cybernetics in her face were still stark against her mostly fair complexion. Rhea grimaced at the sight. She’d earned those scars. They were _her_ scars from fights she was damned proud of, and Cerberus had taken them from her and given her these new ones that she’d never wanted.

The mirror began to fog up from the steam of the shower, telling her that it was finally hot. She pushed back from the counter and stepped under the stream, letting the heat suck the tension from her muscles. She hummed happily, closing her eyes and listening to the way the water hit the tile flooring. She imagined that this was what rain sounded like.

She'd never really been in a rainstorm before. It was an experience that spacer kids didn't get, and she was always too busy during her ICT days to get a real chance to experience it properly. Her mother told stories, though, about her life on Earth in Japan and the UNAS, before she’d joined the Alliance. Rhea’s mother loved space so much, an astrophysicist on Arcturus before she became a soldier in order to see the rest of the galaxy. It was one of the many traits she’d passed to her child. Captain Hannah Shepard was a strong willed woman and the Alliance was lucky to have her. As was Rhea.

It was then that it hit her. Her mother still thought that she was dead. Two years she'd gone believing that Rhea was dead or MIA with no dogtags to remember her by.

She would try to send a message when she could, maybe from one of the extranet terminals on the Citadel instead of from the _Normandy._ Too many eyes and ears on board.

Rhea washed up and grabbed a towel from the little shelf on the opposite wall. She blotted at her black locks, getting rid of some of the dampness when she heard a ping come from the personal station at her desk.

“What is it?” she snapped out, a little irritated that someone wanted her attention already. She was still exhausted.

“ _Commander, it's Jacob_ ,” he said. “ _Can we meet in the comm room to discuss our newest addition to the team?_ ”

“You mean Garrus?” she asked, brows furrowed as she ran her fingers through her hair.

“ _Yes, ma’am_ ,” he said. The soldier had once been with the Alliance, explaining how overly formal he was with her. She didn't mind. In fact, with these Cerberus types she preferred it. She'd get friendly with them on her own terms.

“Give me a couple minutes and I'll meet you down there,” she said.

Rhea kept the towel around her neck as she put on her clothes, slipping her feet into a pair of boots before heading for the door.

As planned Jacob met her in the comm room. He stood at attention and Rhea nodded in response.

“What's up?” she asked, folding her arms across her chest as she looked up at him.

“We’ve done what we could for Garrus,” he explained. “Basic surgery and some cybernetics to speed up the healing process. But…”

He was cut off by the sound of the electronic door opening. Rhea looked up and smiled, biting at her lips to contain her happiness.

Jacob let out a chuckle. “Tough son of a bitch,” he commented. “Didn't think he'd be up yet.”

Garrus stepped further into the room. “No one would give me a mirror,” he complained. “How bad is it, really?”

Rhea smirked as she looked up at him. The right side of his face had taken a beating by the rocket he'd been hit with, his mandible mangled and a cover protecting his still healing neck and what on a human would be considered a cheek. She didn't know enough about turian biology to use the proper terminology. The scars broke up the dark blue tribal markings he wore on his face, that most turians wore as far as she knew, just making him even more asymmetrical. But he was up and standing, moving around, talking, not bleeding profusely all over the floor… He was intact enough not to worry the hell out of her anymore.

“Hell, Garrus,” she said, remembering that she could joke with him. “You were always ugly. Just slap some face paint on there and no one will even know the difference.”

She didn't even know if the markings were paint or not, but it got him to laugh, which only made her smile grow.

He cringed halfway through trying to laugh at her joke, causing him to let out a groan and say, “Oh, don't make me laugh. Damn, my face is barely holding together as it is.” He eyed her, mandibles twitching in what Rhea recognized as a smirk. “You know, some women find facial scars attractive. Mind you, most of those women are krogan.”

Rhea barked out a short laugh at this, her shoulders shaking as she brought a hand to cover her mouth and keep her giggles contained. Her green eyes scanned him up and down. As far as turians were concerned she assumed that he was handsome, scars or no, but she probably wasn’t the best judge. She shook her head at him. “Keep telling yourself that, Vakarian.”

Jacob looked between the two of them, suddenly awkward. “I'll let you two catch up,” he said, giving Rhea a salute before excusing himself from the room.

The door closed behind the young man, leaving Rhea alone with her old friend. As soon as he was gone she pushed herself up on the round and sat on the edge, giving herself a few more inches of height that the short woman didn't have before. It didn't change the fact that Garrus still towered over her, but it helped.

The turian watched her for a brief moment before lowering his head and shaking it. “Frankly, I'm more concerned about you.”

Rhea’s brows furrowed. “How come?”

“Cerberus, Shepard?” he said, a slightly accusing tone to his voice. “Don't you remember those sick experiments they were working on?”

Her face drained and she bit at her lip, remembering vividly the trips to remote planets the two had taken to disrupt Cerberus operations. “I remember,” she said. “I'm really glad that you're the one we found on Omega instead of someone else. If I'm walking into hell, I want someone I trust on my six.”

“You know this plan has me walking into hell too, right?” he asked. Rhea’s face fell for a second before he added, “Just like old times.”

She beamed up at him. Two years ago, while they were chasing after the rogue Spectre, Saren, she'd usually brought him along on missions. They were a good mix, her Vanguard training and his aim with a sniper rifle a good balance in abilities. It would either be him and Tali or Wrex and Tali, occasionally Liara. Either way, Rhea rarely brought along any of the others on her personal team. With part of her old team back, she expected to bring him along just as often.

“I can’t wait,” she said, still grinning.

“I'm fit for duty whenever you need me, Shepard,” he said. “Just give the word.”

“Sure thing,” she said. “Make yourself at home, Garrus. It's like the original Normandy, only with more space. You won't get stuck in the cargo bay unless you really want to.”

Garrus chuckled at this. “Thanks,” he said.

Rhea smiled once more before she hopped down and followed after him, the sight of the small woman beside her turian companion almost comical. The yeoman/psychologist, Kelly, smiled at them as they passed by. Garrus went to the elevator while Rhea went to speak with the ginger haired woman.

“Good morning, Commander,” Kelly said, a smile on her face. “How’s our newest turian crew member doing? His injuries looked painful.”

“He’s pretty hard to kill,” Rhea said, her gaze shifting to the elevator as the door closed. Kelly said something that she didn’t quite catch. Instead of admitting that she hadn’t been listening, Rhea played it off and asked the yeoman if there was anything that needed her attention. Nothing but some emails, it seemed.

“Alright. Thanks,” Rhea said, nodding to her before going to the elevator and waiting for it to take her back up to her cabin.

The light on her terminal blinked. She sighed and activated it, going through her messages. Somehow, despite being dead for two years, she was still getting spam. Rhea huffed as she hit ‘delete’ on the trash messages that cluttered her inbox. She froze when she saw the title and sender of one message:

 _‘Subject: You’re alive???_ _  
_ _From: Hannah Shepard_

 _So I have to find out my child is alive third hand from the_ _  
_ _Alliance brass? Where the hell have you been?_

 _I figure whatever you’re doing is classified, likely part of_  
_your Spectre operations. Just stay safe out there, and_  
_keep doing your mom proud. And sneak something_  
through a secure channel next time.

 _Love,_ _  
_ _Your mother, Captain Hannah’_

Rhea read that short message over and over and over again, her eyes wide.

_I can’t believe it..._

She needed to get done with recruiting, finish up the last dossier and get her ass to the Citadel so she could sneak a message out to her mother, if only just to say ‘Hi, sorry I haven’t kept up with our regular calls I’ve been dead’. Though, maybe not in those exact words.

The growling in her stomach told her that such matters would have to be put off for the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment, if you're so inclined, otherwise, I'll see you next week <3


	3. Part 1 - Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhea finds new allies, and encounters another face from the past.

* * *

 

Of the remaining dossiers, one was a krogan who had been known as Okeer. Unfortunately for Rhea and her team, he was creating krogan clones. Or something, Rhea wasn’t quite sure what they were. They were definitely krogan though, still as deadly, just a little softer since they were fresh from the tanks that they crawled out of. By the time they made it through the mercs who had stormed the facility in order to get these tank grown babes and found Okeer, the mercenary leader had decided to take matters into her own hands.

They killed the leader and took down the Atlas mechs she’d thrown at them, but by the time they got back Okeer had died to save a tank that contained what he’d called “a pure krogan”. Rhea brought it back onto the _Normandy,_ and despite the Cerberus operatives being wary she’d decided to open the tank and ‘birth’ the krogan.

He was insatiable at first, charging for Rhea so that her biotics flared up in defense while he held her against the wall. She remained calm, talking him down and convincing him that their fight was worthy. The krogan dubbed himself Grunt, and Rhea felt a sort of responsibility for the young krogan she’d brought fully into the world.

The last dossier was for a biotic known as Jack, a powerful bitch who had a bad history with Cerberus, bad attitude, and a dislike of real clothing. She scared Rhea a little. Not because of her powers and not because of her personality, but because of what she was. She reminded Rhea too much of herself. Biotics and anger issues weren’t usually a good combination. Rhea had been with the military enough to learn discipline and how to control her anger, and she’d had to when living aboard ships and stations, but Jack… Jack was different.

Getting Jack had been difficult. She'd been in cryo on a prison ship that turned out to be a giant scam, the leader even trying to take Rhea before his goons learned what it felt like to be on her bad side. They unfroze Jack, the crazy bitch wrecked the station in a rampage, Rhea and her companions fought their way out through escaped prisoners and guards, and eventually they killed the leader and got the hell out of there with Jack in tow.

Rhea was starting to wonder if all of the teammates that she was gathering would be as complicated. Zaeed had been the only one to just be ready to go at this point, no rescue necessary.

She rubbed at her neck as she stepped up the the galaxy map in the _Normandy’s_ CIC, ready to head to the Citadel.

" _Change of plans, Commander,_ ” Joker’s voice said over the com. Rhea’s lips pulled back in a snarl as he continued with, “The Illusive Man wants to speak with you in the comm room.”

“Of course he does,” she mumbled under her breath, pushing back from the map and telling her pilot, “I'm on my way.”

Rhea stepped into the comm room and the round in the center lowered to expose the terminal. She frowned as she folded her arms over her chest, the scanner uploading her image across space. A low quality image of an older white man with glowing cybernetic eyes appeared before her in return.

“What is it?” she asked plainly, unimpressed.

“I think we have them,” he said, his voice husky in all the wrong ways and making her skin want to crawl away. “Horizon, one of our colonies in the Terminus systems, just went silent. If it isn’t under attack, it soon will be. Has Mordin delivered the countermeasure for the seeker swarms?”

Rhea remembered the large insect-like creatures that allowed the Collectors to move in and out of a colony without too much trouble. Their bites would put you in a stasis, allowing you to be completely aware while unable to move. It was brutal, but Rhea couldn’t help but be impressed.

“Not yet,” she answered.

“Let’s hope he works well under pressure.” There was a pause. “There’s something else you should know.”

“What is it?”

“One of your former crew, Kaidan Alenko, is stationed on Horizon.”

She was quiet as she digested the information, the prospect of seeing Kaidan swimming through her mind. “Kaidan’s Alliance, what’s he doing in the Terminus?”

“Officially, it’s an outreach program to improve Alliance relations with the colonies. But they’re up to something, and if they sent Commander Alenko it must be big.”

_Commander, huh? He got a promotion. Good for him._

“The Collectors just happened to pick a colony with one of my former crew on it? That’s bait and I’m not biting.”

“It shouldn’t be a surprise that the Collectors are interested in you. Especially if they’re working for the Reapers. They might be going after him to get to you.”

_I’m at the top of the Reapers’ hit list? Well, shit._

“Send the coordinates,” she said. “We’ll head straight there.”

“This is the most warning we’ve ever had, Shepard. Good luck.”

The holoprojector lowered, the room lighting up as the comm terminal shut off. She stepped out of the round and rubbed at the back of her neck, huffing under her breath, “I don’t need your luck.” Then louder, she looked up to the intercom and said, “Joker! Set a course for Horizon. I need to speak with the Professor.”

“ _Aye aye, Commander._ ”

She stepped out of the comm room and went down the hall to the tech lab where the salarian scientist had taken up residence. He had his eyes on a seeker that they had captured.

“Have you got something?” she asked, looking up at him and wondering why aliens were so tall.

He looked at her and smiled proudly. “Yes,” he said, going to his station and pulling up research.

Rhea watched as he explained how they’d be rigging their armor to give off a different frequency that would prevent the seekers from being able to pick up on them, so long as they avoided large groups. She was going on faith with this new tech, but if it helped then she wouldn’t mind.

She chose her team for the mission, Garrus and Zaeed, and had them get outfitted with the same tech. She enjoyed their dynamic as a team, with her supplying the biotics, Zaeed shooting everything, and Garrus providing support from behind with his sniper rifle.

She got them ready and then headed for the shuttle that would take them to the surface, the pilot watching the group closely as they boarded. Rhea kept her shotgun drawn and she gave it one final inspection, looking it over as a distraction. Quiet was unsettling. In her experience, it usually meant that something worse was on the rise, and the gentle humming of the shuttle just a different kind of quiet. She busied herself with tapping her fingers on the barrel of the gun. Zaeed looked over at her, his brows pinched in silent frustration. Garrus just sat still, patiently. Probably a turian thing, Rhea assumed, since their military was a part of every bit of their society.

They landed groundside and she looked up at the sky. It was always strange to be on solid ground with a sky above her, the sight made all the more unfamiliar with the small clouds of bugs flying overhead. They seemed to ignore them, but she called up the salarian once more as they started making their way through the colony. “Mordin, are you sure these upgrades will protect us?”

“ _Certainty impossible, but in small numbers should confuse detection, make invisible to swarms. In theory._ ”

Rhea wasn’t fond of the uncertainty, but it was a risk she’d have to take. She loaded a clip into her shotgun and kept herself on alert, fingers twitching and ready to unleash some hell with her biotics. She kept herself controlled until they came across a group of collectors. The fight wasn’t as difficult as she’d anticipated, her shotgun and biotics serving her well while Garrus' sniping skill kept surprises off of her and Zaeed.

The three of them pushed on through the colony, only having some difficulty when stray Collectors suddenly became much more powerful, their already thick skin turning to an armor that Rhea’s biotics had little effect on. She got so frustrated with these particular enemies that she surrounded herself in mass effect energy and launched herself at them to get close, using her shotgun to beat them down.

She wiped sweat from her brow with the back of her hand and she breathed deeply, staring at the smashed body of the collector before her.

“You good, Shepard?” Garrus asked from behind her.

Rhea nodded. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.” It wasn’t a lie, physically she was all right. But Rhea’s frustration with her situation was still there. Pulling herself together, she straightened her posture and turned away, expelling the spent clip from her shotgun. “Let’s move.”

They proceeded to a shelter with a lock that took Rhea several minutes to bypass. Inside was a colonist who had managed to hide from the attack. He described the attack to her, telling her that he blamed the Alliance. Rhea’s eyes narrowed at this and she countered that the Alliance was just trying to help, that Commander Alenko was just doing his job.

The colonist didn’t care. He was content just hiding and being angry. Rhea made sure that he stayed in his little hole while she and her companions carried on with their mission. The new defense towers needed calibrating so that they could be used against the Collector ship.

They continued to face more attacks as they moved on, the seeker swarms disrupting communications with the _Normandy._ Eventually they made it to the towers and established a connection with the ship. The _Normandy’s_ AI, EDI, needed time to fix the targeting systems, leaving them to play king of the hill with the Collectors. Rhea charged with her biotics at the tougher enemies, blowing heads off and letting her companions take out their own share of Collectors.

It would have been easy if they could have just gotten the defense towers online, shot down the Collector ship, and been able to go home. But, unfortunately, things were never as easy or simple as Rhea wished for them to be. They got the towers online, but then a massive enemy made its way onto the field; a floating mass of husks and other Reaper tech that looked like something from a nightmare.

She hid behind cover, instead of allowing herself to be out in the open as she usually would have. Pulling the rocket launcher from her back, she went through a frustrating cycle of taking down the creature’s barrier and slowly killing it. The thing got in a few good hits that took down her barrier and shields, hitting her and roasting her back when she tried to move to better cover. She activated her suit’s medi-gel dispenser and gritted her teeth as cold tingles ran up and down her spine, numbing the burning sensation she’d previously been feeling. Rhea breathed heavily as she moved from cover once more, firing off more of the small rockets and watching as the thing’s armor finally deteriorated. She took a few seconds to catch her breath, pushing herself up and watching as the colony’s defenses finally did their best on the Collector ship that had decided to take off. She shielded her eyes from the light.

The colonist who had hid before came up from behind, chastising Rhea for letting the Collectors get away with the others.

“You think that I wanted this to happen? What the hell am I supposed to do against _that_?” she snapped back, getting in his face as best she could. “I did what I could!”

“More than most, Shepard,” Garrus reassured her. Rhea closed her eyes and took a step back, folding her arms over her chest and focusing solely on those words. She’d done what she could.

“Shepard?” the colonist said, pausing a moment. “Wait… I know that name.” He looked her over and then shook his head, a look of distaste on his face. “Yeah, I know you. Some big Alliance hero.”

She narrowed her eyes, her hands balling up into fists. She perked up when she heard an all too familiar voice come from the side.

“Commander Shepard. Captain of the _Normandy._ First human Spectre. Savior of the Citadel,” Kaidan said, stepping forward and across from her. Her mouth fell open a bit at the sight of him, her heart skipping a beat.

_It’s really him._

“You’re in the presence of a legend, Delan,” her former partner said to the colonist. “And a ghost.”

Delan shook his head. “All the good people we lost and you get left behind. Figures.” He started walking off, leaving them with, “Screw this. I’m done with you Alliance types.”

Rhea sneered at him as he passed, her fingers itching to start up her biotics. She restrained herself instead, watching as Kaidan took another step towards her. Her heart stuttered as he put his arms around her, holding her to him in a hug that she returned eagerly, resting her cheek on his chest and breathing him in. The tension melted away in his embrace, her shoulders finally relaxing as she let herself be held.

 _Fuck, I’ve missed this,_ she thought, finally feeling something like peace as she nuzzled into him.

“I thought you were dead, Rhea,” he said as he let go.

She looked up at him, meeting the gaze of his brown eyes, the warmth she was expecting gone cold. “You don’t sound very happy to see me. Is something bothering you, Kaidan?”

His eyes narrowed and she took a step back, a bit confused by his anger. “Yeah, something’s bothering me. I spent the last two years believing you were dead, mourning you. I loved you, I thought we had something. Why didn’t you try to contact me? Why didn’t you let me know that you’re alive?”

“It wasn’t like I could, Kaidan,” Rhea defended, growing flustered over the word ‘love’. “I spent the last two years in some kind of coma while Cerberus rebuilt me. I wanted to contact you, but the comms aren’t secure and...” She trailed off when she saw the horror in his eyes. “Kaidan?”

Kaidan’s face had paled and he took a step back. “You’re with Cerberus now? Garrus too?” He scoffed. “I can’t believe the reports were right.”

“Reports?” Garrus chimed in from behind. “You mean you already knew.”

“Alliance intel thought Cerberus might be behind the missing human colonies,” he explained. “Got a tip that this might be the next one to get hit. Anderson stonewalled me, but there were rumors that you weren’t dead. That you were working for the enemy.”

“Cerberus and I both want to stop these attacks, that doesn’t mean that I answer to them,” Rhea snapped back.

“Do you really believe that, or is that just what Cerberus wants you to think?” Kaidan said, looking down on her. Rhea felt small under his gaze, angry. She narrowed her eyes as he went on, “I wanted to believe the rumors that you were alive, but I never expected anything like this. You’ve turned your back on everything we believed in. You betrayed the Alliance and you betrayed me.”

“Kaidan, I haven’t betrayed anyone! You know me, you know I wouldn’t do that!” she said, desperation in her voice as that little glimmer of peace she’d felt was forcefully ripped away. Why was this happening? “You of all people should know that I would only do this for the right reasons!”

“I want to believe you, but I don’t trust Cerberus. They could be using the threat of a Reaper to manipulate you,” he said. “What if they’re behind it? What if they’re working with the Collectors?”

“Dammit Kaidan,” Garrus defended from behind Rhea. “You’re so focused on Cerberus that you’re ignoring the real threat!”

Rhea’s whole body shook for a couple seconds before steeling herself, forcing her muscles to go rigid and stiff in a desperate attempt to stay calm while on the inside she panicked. She folded her arms across her chest, looking away from him and down at her feet. Her voice came out forced, “I see you won’t listen to reason.”

“You’re gone for two years and come back to tell me that you’re with Cerberus, and I’m the one who won’t listen? Maybe you need to see reason,” Kaidan countered. Rhea’s hands turned into fists, still keeping herself as still as possible. The itching in her fingers came back, the first time she’d ever wanted to use her biotics against someone she trusted so much. “You’ve changed, but I still know where my loyalties lie. I’m an Alliance soldier, always will be. I’ve gotta report back to the CItadel. They can decide if they believe your story or not.”

She scoffed and shook her head, still not looking at him while her hands itched and her skin crawled from the static of angry biotic energy. “They’ll pin it on Cerberus, just like you did,” she said plainly.

“A leopard can’t change his spots. Cerberus can’t be trusted,” Kaidan said easily. He looked over at her. “Goodbye, Rhea. Be careful.”

The Vanguard drew in a shaky breath as he walked away from her, glancing over at him and saying finally, “You don’t get to call me that.”

She wasn’t sure if he heard her or not, not knowing if the falter in his step was because of her words or something else. But she didn’t give him a second glance as she turned away, passing between Garrus and Zaeed as she pulled up her comm.

“Joker, send the shuttle to pick us up,” she said, finally flexing her fingers and allowing her biotics to start up so that she could fling a crate into the wall of a building. The sound of the crash was satisfying, the crate leaving a sizable dent in the siding, though it jostled her companions. She continued to glow blue as she said, “I’ve had enough of this colony.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please consider leaving a comment, I'm always eager for feedback and constructive criticism <3


	4. Part 1 - Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite the perpetuating identity crisis, Rhea's regaining some amount of normalcy.

* * *

 

The Illusive Man was happy with their progress, giving Rhea a few more dossiers for potential teammates. Joker and Kelly inquired about her interaction with Kaidan, asking if she was doing okay. Regarding Kaidan, she was blunt about it, admitting that whatever they were, they weren’t that anymore. It was better just to put it in the past, though it was easier said than done. She’d cared about Kaidan a lot. Maybe she’d loved him. But having him act like she was something evil pushed her over the edge. She obviously wasn’t anything to him anymore. He’d said that he’d loved her, but had he really?

Her thoughts ran wild in the evening hours, Rhea’s already unstable mental state spiraling quickly. Too many times had she stared at the mirror at the face she recognized as hers, and wondered at the extent of what Cerberus had done to her. The shrapnel scars on her brow and jaw were gone, while the implant scars at the base of her skull felt barely months old, still raw and giving her headaches. She clung to her faded tattoos, things that couldn’t be so easily replicated by the Illusive Man’s med-techs, all the while asking herself the same question: how much of her had Cerberus changed, and how much was still the real Rhea Shepard?

She went over the dossiers to distract her from the identity crises and this time there was a familiar name: Tali’Zorah vas Neema.

Her old companion was the first one on this new list that she decided to pick up, rescuing her from a former quarian colony that was under attack by geth. Fighting through the machines was familiar and welcome. Geth like these were easy to kill, they were just mechs with decent aim, and a shot to the chest or a biotic smash was typically all that it took to take them out. It would have been easier if she didn’t have to stay out of the light from the dying sun, but she enjoyed the challenge. It kept her mind off of Kaidan and the Collectors and her mother and everything else that was bothering her. But only for a time.

Rhea still felt bitter about the situation. She hadn’t asked to get stuck with Cerberus. The only thing holding her with the organization was the obligation she felt to save the colonies that had gotten hit. Do this little thing to go against the Reapers, validate her experiences and the visions that still haunted her nightmares every now and then. She’d been branded by the Council as delusional, but here they believed her enough for some form of trust. She was malcontent, but if she was doing some good, then what did it matter?

It never occurred that those she was close to would consider her just as crazy. And Kaidan had made her feel crazy. The evening after they got back she’d used her biotics to float random objects in her cabin, trying to meditate in order to keep the existentialism away. But without her marbles, it was a cheap distraction at best. Her mind got the better of her that night and several more after it.

She threw away the picture of him that had been sitting on her desk, and the email he’d sent her was left unread before it was deleted.

She went to the mess hall and found Garrus and Tali catching up. Rhea smiled and asked to join them, which they happily agreed to. The lot of them were on their way to a world known as Illium to acquire two more team members. Rhea had been tempted to use one of the comm terminals there, but after learning that Illium was just a more orderly Noveria she’d changed her mind. She would just wait until they could get to the Citadel. C-Sec was far more trustworthy, though they tended to be on the incompetent side. It was no wonder why Garrus was so eager to leave. Though considering the trouble that he’d gotten into afterward, she was conflicted. If he’d stayed with C-Sec, then maybe he might not have gone through the hell he’d been through, never meeting the man that betrayed him. Garrus wasn’t a good fit for that life, however, and would have been miserable.

Rhea found herself truly happy and relaxed for the first time since before she’d been woken up by Cerberus as she made jokes with her friends. Tali and Garrus were so fun to be around, the three of them making easy conversation and jokes. Rhea was able to prod at Garrus without fear of being taken too seriously, and she could just chat with Tali as though they were sisters.

The two of them accompanied her when they arrived on Illium, a concierge approaching them to let Rhea know that Liara T’Soni had paid for the docking fees.

Upon hearing Liara’s name Rhea got excited, the prospect of seeing another familiar face making her feel light. She went to see Liara as soon as she could, ignoring the terminals of armor upgrades to visit her old friend in her office.

Liara was on call with someone when Rhea walked in. She finished quickly and made sure that her secretary held her calls so that they could catch up.

Rhea was grinning like an idiot when she and Liara hugged, clinging to her and resting her face in the crook of Liara’s neck, so happy to see her friend. It was likely that had she and Kaidan not already been in something of a relationship, she would have been tempted to reciprocate the feelings that Liara had for her back then. But times were different now. Now they were old friends happy to be meeting up again.

“My sources said you were alive, but I never believed…” Liara trailed off, smiling at Rhea. “It’s very good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too, Liara,” she said, smiling back. “How are you?”

“I’m doing well. I’ve been working as an information broker. It’s paid the bills since you… well…” She trailed off briefly, sadness flashing in her eyes. “For the past two years,” she eventually said. “And now you’re back, gunning for the Collectors with Cerberus.”

“You sure seem to know a lot,” Rhea said, eyeing her old friend as they sat across from each other, Garrus and Tali standing by the door.

“I wouldn’t be a very good information broker if I didn’t,” Liara said cheekily.

The two continued to play catch up, Liara giving her a brief rundown of the last two years. Her blue eyes kept trailing to something on her desk, looking between it and Rhea. It made the human suspicious, but she trusted Liara to tell her if there was something going on.

Before she left she made sure to ask for the whereabouts of the two individuals she was looking for: an asari Justicar named Samara and an assassin named Thane Krios. She thanked Liara for the assistance and started to go.

“Shepard, wait,” she said, standing. Rhea turned around, confused.

“What is it?”

Liara reached into her desk and pulled out a small drawstring bag made of dark cloth. She looked sheepish for a moment before holding it out to her friend. “You should take this.”

Rhea’s brows furrowed as she reached out and took the bag in her hands. It was heavier than it looked. “What’s this?”

“Something that I think you should have,” she said plainly, looking down. “Just take it. Open it when you get back on the _Normandy_. Keep it safe.”

“Um, okay,” Rhea agreed. “Thanks, Liara. For everything.”

“Of course, Shepard,” Liara said.

“Take care of yourself.”

They left with simple farewells, some newfound curiosity, and a desire to have more pockets.

They acquired Thane Krios that afternoon and evening, spending far too long fighting through mercenaries to reach his target and get his attention. He finished his job and afterwards was willing to join Rhea in the fight against the Collectors. That he was dying a slow death was of little concern to him, and after asking about it later Rhea found herself comfortable with having the assassin watch her back. He was courteous and respectable. A true gentleman, in short.

The drell was a curiosity to the Vanguard. She asked him some basic questions when they got back on the _Normandy,_ just some simple background to sate her inquisitive desires. He was the first drell that she had ever met, the reptilian humanoid something she’d only ever heard of. Turians and asari and salarians? She’d grown up around them, seeing visiting dignitaries all the time on the ships her mother commanded, making the Council races seem so mundane now. Aliens like drell and quarians and hanar? Now those were a mystery to her. From then on she decided to make a habit of chatting with him whenever she had free time.

When their conversation was over she excused herself and grabbed some rations to take with her to her cabin. There was still the matter of the little bag from Liara. She still wasn’t sure what was inside, only that it was heavy and radiated a familiarity that she couldn’t place.

Rhea took a bite out of a protein bar and sat on her bed, kicking off her shoes as she rested on an elbow. She held the bar in her mouth as she undid the knot that the drawstrings were in, her brows furrowing when she saw the little slip of paper the poked out once it was open. She set aside the bag and unfolded the slip.

‘ _Shepard,_  
_I don’t know if you’ll ever get this message, but I hope that you will someday._  
_The day that you died was so hard on all of us. But then I heard that you might be alive, and I thought that you should have these back. Some might be missing, but I tried to replace the ones that I knew were broken._  
_I hope you like it._ _  
_ -Liara’

Rhea’s heart skipped a beat as she picked up the back of the bag and tipped it, her hands going to her mouth as a set of colorful marbles spilled out on the white sheet of the bed. Earth bumped into Thessia and Palaven rolled next to Tuchanka, the planets in miniature before her once again.

“Oh my god,” she said, tears springing to her eyes as she flexed her fingers. She lifted the marbles into the air above her and bit at her lower lip as she tried to maintain the control needed to get them to orbit her imaginary sun. The biotic field became unstable, shaking before she had to give up, throwing her arms up to ward off the incoming glass orbs.

 _I can do this,_ she told herself, stubbornly trying again. She used both hands this time, lying on her back and looking up as she narrowed her eyes at the mass effect field. The marbles spun around haphazardly, Earth and Palaven nearly crashing into each other before she let the field release and dodged the falling marbles yet again.

Rhea took a deep breath. So doing them all at once was a no go. She’d have to start small, but that was okay. She just needed to condition herself again. It would probably take some time, but she’d do it.

She went to bed without making any progress, falling asleep still in her day clothes.

She woke up early the next morning and got cleaned up, walking down to the mess hall with her towel around her neck to keep her still wet locks off of her collar.

“Morning, Shepard,” Kelly said, smiling up at her from one of the tables. Rhea yawned and waved at her courteously, still a little too tired to make conversation so early. She reached into a cupboard and pulled some basic rations, similar to the stuff she’d grown up on. Biting into the granola bar, she got a ping on her omni-tool. She turned it on and swallowed.

“What is it?” she asked, looking over her food before choosing where to take her next bite.

“ _Commander, could I speak with you?_ ” came Miranda’s voice.

Rhea sighed. She’d barely woken up and already someone needed her for something. “Can it wait?” she asked through a mouthful of food, swallowing before saying, “Let me have a chance to eat something first.”

“ _Alright. I’ll be in my office. Come see me when you’re ready._ ”

Her brows pinched in confusion as she leaned against the counter, letting out another yawn before reaching for a cup to get water. She listened to the hum of the refrigerator, letting her eyes scan over the mess hall. Kelly was still sitting at the table, chatting with a couple technicians who had come to eat as well.

Rhea let herself smile. Maybe she was trying too hard to hate Cerberus. The _Normandy_ crew may have likely robbed the entire organization of their few good people, but that’s what they were. People. Just people. They had families and their own lives and they were here because they wanted to do some good. They were proud of Commander Shepard and what she was accomplishing.

She breathed deeply, enjoying the few moments of peace she felt she had earned.

The talk with Miranda wasn’t as bad as she’d been anticipating. While they were still on Illium, she needed help with making sure her twin sister got relocated in order to keep her safe. Rhea was an only child, but she understood the desire to keep family safe. She promised the Cerberus operative that they would get it taken care of once they had recruited the Justicar.

But first, Rhea was still hungry. Biotics had fast metabolisms and needed large numbers of calories in order to function properly, something she had accidentally been neglecting recently. Too many reports and emails and missions to have any time for a proper diet. She grabbed another ration bar and made her way to the armory. She hummed an old song as she got ready for the day, checking up on her arms and armor. Her shotgun would need some maintenance later, a little recalibrating before she had to do anything too extreme. Retrieving the asari didn’t seem as though it would be too much trouble.

Of course, that would be too easy. Nothing could ever be easy. Not for Rhea.

Samara was easy enough to find. Getting her to come along wasn’t as simple as Rhea had hoped.

The only way to get the Justicar to come along was if she found the name of a ship that had departed with a fugitive that Samara had been tracking down. The Eclipse mercs on Illium had smuggled her out, which meant that someone had to go into their base in order to get the shipping manifest that had the information that the Justicar wanted. Samara was under lockdown in the police station, making Rhea’s team the only capable ones left.

“I’m getting tired of this,” Rhea grumbled as she leaned against a wall, catching her breath while she tried to run field repairs on her faulty shotgun. They’d made it through the first bunch of mercs that were protecting their base with little trouble, but the gun was dying fast. If she had to go on with a pistol, she’d do it. Her aim was far from terrible, but shotguns were just so much easier to handle. She groaned, her fingers twitching as she held the gun out to her companion.  “Garrus, could you give me a hand with this?”

He took a step closer, looking down at her. His blue eyes met her green and he blinked, a little confused as he put his rifle on his back. “What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s been giving me shit for the last few days,” she said as he took it, looking over the gun that looked large compared to her but almost smalls when he held it. “Should be putting out more power than what it’s doing. Can you do anything right now, or would you need more time?”

Garrus turned it over, checking basic settings. His brow plates shifted down, similar to how a human’s brows would pinch in the middle when they focused. He shook his head and handed the gun back to her. “Sorry, Shepard. I can’t do anything right now.”

She groaned and put the gun on the small of her back, the mechanisms condensing it into a smaller and more portable form. “Guess we’re going with the pistol,” she thought out loud, pulling it from her hip. Rhea brushed dark hair from her face and loaded a new clip into the smaller gun. “Let’s keep moving.”

As they pressed on through the base they discovered that not only did the mercs have mechs, but they also had barrels full of toxic red sand. Rhea saw the barrels and made an effort to stay as far away from them as possible. She’d gone all her life never touching the freaky biotic drugs and she wasn’t about to change that because of the stupidity of a volus merchant. It wasn’t as easy as she’d hoped, unable to perform a biotic charge on enemies while they were standing in the bright red clouds of dust. She just had to take aim and hope for the best. It worked well enough, though she was getting tired and held back a bit to let her teammates do some damage. When she could she switched to her biotics, happily plowing down enemies.

At some point they came across a merc who had camped out in a side room, apparently hiding when she realized that they were there. The asari tried to act as though she’d been pretending to shoot at her, but Rhea wasn’t buying it. When the kid turned on her and tried to kill her first, Rhea and her companions shot her down with ease. They later found a recording that proved she’d been the one responsible for the murder that the district’s cops were investigating, removing any doubt that killing her had been a bad decision.

A gunship and a drugged volus later, Rhea and her team finally got to the center of the base. As suspected there were a ton of mercs, and aside from just a biotic barrier their leader had protective armor shielding her as well. Rhea continued to avoid the red sand and fight with the pistol that was quickly running low on thermal clips.

Nothing was ever easy, evidently. By the time they’d acquired the shipping manifest, Rhea was ready for a real meal and a nap. She settled for leaning on her turian companion until they got back to the station.

Garrus had seemed confused at first when she leaned against him, but he warmed up to the contact easily enough, understanding that she was fatigued. Zaeed just rolled his eyes and ignored them.

Rhea moved away from Garrus as they returned to where they'd started. She wanted to give the volus suspect a shove, see him roll away in his enviro-suit, but she ignored him and went on to give the officer and Justicar the information she'd found. Before they left Samara pledged an oath of service to Rhea, promising to stay by her side until the mission was completed. It was unexpected, to say the least, but also a little flattering.

Zaeed returned to the _Normandy_ alongside their newest addition to the team, leaving Rhea and Garrus to linger in Nos Astra. Rhea spent the last few hours of daylight visiting the shop terminals and getting new upgrades for her armor and her companions. She was fortunate that Cerberus gave her a hefty number of credits for such things.

“Really, Shepard?” Garrus said, looking down at her while shaking his head.

She looked up as she swiped her credit chit, blinking. “What?”

“You’re buying fish.”

“So?”

“Why?”

“Because Cerberus gives me a lot of money for those side jobs we take,” she explained, stepping away from the souvenir terminal.  “Plus, I have an empty fish tank. It needs fish.”

Were he human, he’d have raised a brow at this. Instead Garrus looked at her and blinked. “You have a fish tank.”

“Another fun perk that comes with captaining a Cerberus ship,” she said, tucking the chit into a pocket on her armor. She walked away from the terminal with Garrus by her side, heading back up to the docking stations.

“You sound almost as though you don’t mind working for terrorists,” he said jokingly.

Rhea laughed through her nose. “Fuck that, I hate just having to look at that damned logo on my ship. I want to deal with the Collectors as soon as possible, then see if the Alliance will take me back.”

Garrus looked at her curiously. “You think that they will?”

“I can hope,” she said.

Truth be told, Rhea had no clue what she’d do after finishing her mission. Aside from leaving Cerberus. She wanted to go back to her old life if she could. The Alliance was all that she’d known since she was a child. And the Reapers were still a huge threat that she felt personally responsible for.

Maybe it was wrong for her to feel that way. Maybe it was pointless to worry about it when there was nothing that she alone could do. Maybe she was as delusional as the Council and Kaidan believed her to be, all of the events just inside her head. Maybe…

And there was where she needed to stop thinking.

She tried changing the subject, asking about fixing up her shotgun. She and Garrus arranged to meet in the ship’s battery, his usual place of residence, so that they could work together.

Rhea went up to her cabin to set up her new fish in the tank, feeding them before she showered and changed into more comfortable clothing. She fingered at the straps of the sports bra that she wore underneath a black tank top, looking at herself in the mirror with uncertainty. Her black hair was still damp, a downside of having such thick locks. Disregarding the still healing cybernetics and the dull scars on her arms and chest, she looked exceptionally plain.

Stepping away from the mirror, she walked out of the bathroom and ran a hand over the braid she’d tied her hair into. A strange feeling twisted in her gut, her chest tight. She swallowed, ignoring it and deciding that she was just hungry.

She picked up her shotgun and the heavy pistol before she left her room, figuring that it wouldn’t hurt to do a bit of maintenance on both of her main weapons while she was at it. She stopped by the mess hall, getting her rations and a bottle of water, before heading towards the battery. Her hands were full between guns and food, leaving her to kick at the door to get Garrus to open it for her. His eyes went wide when he saw her.

“I see you didn’t waste any time getting back to work,” he commented playfully, mandibles twitching in a smirk.

Rhea laughed and stepped in, sitting on a crate so she could set down her belongings. “You know me,” she said, handing him her shotgun before she twisted the cap off of her water. Garrus looked over the weapon again, taking it to his makeshift weapons bench. Rhea watched him for a moment, looking him over. He was still in his armor. Garrus seemed to prefer it, considering she’d never seen him in anything else. She found herself wondering what he looked like out of his armor. She’d seen other turians, of course, but never him. It made her feel a bit awkward to be wearing an outfit that showed far more of herself, but she did her best to shove that aside. Garrus never seemed to care about how much skin she exposed.

She busied herself with eating her dinner and tinkering on her pistol, falling into the comfortable silence that allowed her to focus on recalibrating her gun and adjusting the upgrades she’d gotten to maximize damage output.

Garrus was still working on her shotgun when she finished making tweaks on her heavy pistol, setting it by her side as she finished eating.

“You’re still not done?” she said, after downing the last of her water.

“Unfortunately, I think you need to stop hitting your enemies in the face with your guns,” he said, turning towards her. “As effective as blunt force trauma is, you’ve managed to damage the thermal clip storage unit.”

Rhea sighed, feeling a little embarrassed. “And here I was under the impression that upgrades were doing the damn thing some good.”

Garrus smiled at her, mandibles flared slightly and his gaze soft, and made a little sound that she couldn’t quite identify. Amusement? “You may have to start using a different gun altogether. It’s not worth it anymore.”

“Damn.” She took hold of the shotgun as Garrus handed it back to her. “Are you sure there’s nothing you can do?”

“Sorry, Shepard,” he said.

She shook her head. “Thanks for trying, at least.”

He smiled again. For whatever reason, the sight of happiness on his scarred face made her heart feel light. There was a bit of guilt in there as well, however. It had been a while since she'd received it, but shortly after recovering her friend she'd gotten an email from the partner of one of Garrus' deceased teammates. She'd asked Rhea to keep Garrus safe, and yet here her friend was with half of his face still healing because she hadn't protected him.

Rhea realized that she'd spaced out when her friend’s smile faded. She gathered her bearings and said, “So, while I'm still here, how are the _Normandy’s_ upgrades doing?”

His face lit up at this, causing Rhea to feel that lightness in her chest again. She was more than happy to listen to him explain tech that she didn't quite understand. Aside from just enjoying the vibes he gave off, the human found her turian companion’s voice to be very attractive. Always had, even on the SR-1 when she and Kaidan had been… whatever they were. Only Vakarian could give a girl shivers while talking about installing new cannons into her ship.

She and Garrus conversed a little while longer, the night hours creeping upon them. Eventually they agreed to get back to work. Rhea had to arrange for a new shotgun and Garrus still wanted to work on the ship’s guns. Far be it from her to get in the way of his calibrations.

Before she went up to the armory she stopped by to chat with Thane for a while, thinking that he might enjoy the company. She was always happy to speak with him, his personality calming and voice soothing. After Thane was Samara.

Samara was meditating when Rhea walked in, and for a moment she felt guilty for interrupting the Justicar’s meditations. But Samara was very forgiving and willing to answer whatever questions Rhea had. The Vanguard could have listened to the Justicar talk all day long, enjoying her voice almost as much as she enjoyed Garrus'.

“If it isn’t too much to ask for,” Rhea began, looking the asari over as she fidgeted with her hands. “Could you give me some tips for meditating with biotics?”

She looked intrigued at the idea. “I suppose I could. Asari biotics are very different from human biotics, however.”

“I know,” Rhea said, still fidgeting. “I used to meditate by levitating marbles, but since I... died... I’ve lost the fine control I used to have. When I return from Nos Astra tomorrow, could I meditate with you?”

Samara smiled, her almost silvery eyes meeting Rhea’s as she agreed. The Vanguard was filled with a bit of happiness and hope as she left and went up the elevator. Her business in the armory was quickly dealt with and finally she went to her cabin, ready to sleep.

Again she fell asleep with marbles by her side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please consider leaving a comment, I'm always looking for feedback and constructive criticism.


	5. Part 1 - Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhea will do anything for the people she cares about, even if it means she's uncomfortable.

* * *

 

At this point being frustrated with how life was going was just part of the daily routine. For Rhea, at least. In the weeks and months that came she spent more time than she would have liked on missions for Cerberus and everyone else. 

It started with getting Miranda’s twin sister, Oriana, to a safe location. The Cerberus operative had never mentioned her sister’s age, leading everyone to believe that she was as old as Miranda. This was, unfortunately, not the case. They were twins in terms of biology and genetics, but there was quite the age gap between them with Oriana actually being a teenager. An older teenager, sure, but still close enough to being a kid in Rhea’s eyes. And of course there were mercenaries, because they had managed to permeate every aspect of her life at this point. 

In the end Oriana was safely returned to her family, and Rhea convinced Miranda to go and speak with her. After everything that they’d done to ensure the kid’s safety, the least that she could do was talk to her. Rhea and Garrus let her be alone with her sister and went back to the ship. That evening Miranda asked to speak with Rhea, thanking her for everything that she had done for her. 

All of her teammates eventually came to her with various personal problems that they wanted taken care of before they went into hell with Rhea against the Collectors. Jack’s childhood was haunting her, Zaeed needed to track down the man who’d ruined his life, Jacob’s father mysteriously appeared after a decade of being missing, Thane’s son was in trouble, Samara needed to kill her murderer of a daughter. 

She didn’t mind helping out with these things. In fact, dealing with their personal lives was ironically a well needed distraction and she was more than happy to do whatever was needed to help her teammates. But then her best friends were in trouble. 

Tali was the first of them to run into trouble, the young engineer being accused of treason. Rhea was appalled that the Migrant Fleet could ever believe that the young quarian was even capable of such things. Tali was incredibly devoted to her people, and yet she’d received word that she needed to return to the Fleet in order to be put on trial. Rhea was more than happy to help her, giving Joker the coordinates so that they could assist her. 

The only downside was that Rhea would have to wear her full gear in order to board the Rayya, breather helmet and all in order to maintain the sterile setting of the ships. Her chest got tight at the idea of relying on her suit to keep her safe. If she could get away with it, she’d never wear the helmet and just rely on her barrier and shields to keep herself safe. Helmets obstructed her peripheral vision, blocked her hearing, screwed with her much needed reaction time. If she got in a fight, it was likely that she wouldn’t see an attack until it was too late. 

There were other reasons too, but she tried her best to ignore those.

She fidgeted with her hands, drumming them against her hips as they were taken through the clean room and were scrubbed down by a couple other quarians. Rhea tried to ignore the fact that she couldn’t hear anything beyond her own breathing and the voices coming in from her helmet’s speakers. She continued to be anxious as she, Tali, and Garrus continued on through processing and into the main section of the ship. There they met with Tali’s former Captain, who explained that Tali had been tried with bringing active geth aboard the ship. 

Rhea was shocked by these accusations, until Tali admitted to sending pieces and parts of inactive geth to the ship. The quarian continued to explain herself, saying that her father needed the parts for experiments that he was working on. Surely there had been some misunderstanding. 

They encountered a friend of Tali’s family, one of the Fleet’s Admirals, Shala’Raan. Tali was happy to see her, hugging Raan before realizing that she’d called her by the wrong name.

“You called me ‘vas Normandy’,” Tali said, confusion in her voice. 

“I’m afraid I did, Tali,” Raan said. “The Admiralty board moved to have you tried under that name, given your departure from the Neema.”

Rhea’s brows furrowed at this, though her facial expressions couldn’t be seen through her helmet. “I assume that being associated with my ship is a bad sign.”

“They stripped me of my ship name,” Tali began, a bit of anger in her tone. “That’s as good as declaring me exiled already.”

Raan tried to reassure her, “It’s not over yet, Tali. You still have friends who still know you as Tali’Zorah vas Neema… whatever we must call you legally.”

“We should get started,” Rhea said. “Does Tali have someone to speak for her defense?”

The Admiral nodded. “Indeed she does… Captain Shepard. She is part of your crew, now, recognized by quarian law. And an accused is represented by his or her’s ship captain.”

Tali looked to Rhea, who had frozen solid. “So, er… that means that you would speak in my defense.”

There was a pause as Rhea processed the information. She’d never made it to the rank of Captain when with the Alliance. That was a title she associated with her mother, who’d been the Captain of Alliance dreadnoughts since Akuze. Being called such a thing shouldn’t have felt so odd, given that she’d had command of the  _ Normandy  _ for so long. But even stranger was the idea that Rhea could successfully stand for Tali.

“I’ll do whatever I can for you, Tali,” Rhea promised eventually, her fingers drumming against her armor again.

“Thank you, Shepard,” the young quarian said. “I couldn’t ask for a better counselor.”

“Our legal rules are simple,” Raan said to Rhea, attempting to reassure her. “There are no legal tricks or political loopholes for you to worry about. Present the truth as best you can. It will have to be enough. Now come. I promised I would not delay you.”

The three of them followed the Admiral into an open space. It was fascinating to see the inside of a quarian ship, with plants growing along the walls to provide fresh oxygen for the residents. There was so much space in this public area, but she assumed that this must be as much space as they could get on the ship. 

In the center was a stand with places to sit around it. Three quarians were already on the stand, Raan going up to stand behind them to act as moderator. Tali’s father, another Admiral, didn’t seem to be anywhere near the trial. He wasn’t allowed to participate, like Raan, but Rhea found it strange that he wasn’t present anyways. 

Rhea was so distracted that she didn’t realize that the trial had begun, the Admirals looking to her to speak. 

She swallowed her anxiety and stood up to the stand, looking up at the Admirals and hoping that she could properly be heard through her helmet. Commander Mode starting up, she spoke, “If it helps Tali, then I will speak in her defense. But in her heart she’s still Tali’Zorah vas Neema- a proud member of the Migrant Fleet. I regret that her captain is forbidden to stand by her side today.”

“Nobody is forbidden from anything!” one of the Admirals began, anger in his voice. “It is a simple-…”

“Lie to the human if you must, Zaal’Koris, but don’t lie to me and expect me to stay silent!” the other male Admiral snapped. “The human is right!”

“Admirals, please,” Raan said calmly, moderating the arguing men. “Shepard’s willingness to represent Tali’Zorah in this hearing is appreciated.” She turned her attention to Rhea’s friend. “Tali, you are accused of bringing active geth aboard the Rayya. What say you?”

“How could Tali have sent active geth to the Fleet while serving on the _ Normandy _ ?” Rhea asked in return.

The female Admiral answered, “To clarify, Shepard, Tali isn’t accused of bringing back entire units. Only parts that could spontaneously reactivate.”

“I would never send active geth back to the Fleet!” Tali insisted, visibly nervous as she began to fidget with her hands. “Everything I sent back was disabled and harmless!”

“Then explain how geth seized the lab ship where your father was working?” the first one to speak, Koris if she remembered correctly, asked Tali. 

There was a murmur through the crowd at this. Rhea’s eyes widened and she looked to Tali, the poor girl completely oblivious as to what was going on. 

“What are you talking about?” Tali asked the Admirals, her voice cracking slightly. “What happened?”

“As far as we can tell, Tali, the geth have killed everyone on the Alarei,” the second Admiral said. “Your father included.”

“What!?” Tali was shocked. “Oh, Keelah.”

Rhea’s hands made fists. “I thought that quarians valued family! How can you justify springing this on her in the middle of a damned trial!?” she snapped at the Admirals.

Raan seemed nervous at Rhea’s outburst. “Our apologies. Tali should have been informed.”

“Shepard, we have to take back the Alarei,” Tali said, panicked. 

“The safest course would be to simply destroy the ship,” Koris said plainly. “But if you’re looking for an honorable death, instead of exile…”

“I’m looking for my father, you bosh’tet!” Tali shouted at him. 

Raan was again a picture of calm. “You intend to retake the Alarei from the geth? This proposal is extremely dangerous.”

“Tali needs to find her father,” Rhea said, thinking about how she’d feel if her mother was in the same position. “With your permission, Admirals, we will endeavour to retake the Alarei.”

“Agreed,” the second Admiral said. “And if you die on this worthy mission, Tali, we will see that your name is cleared of these charges.”

“Then it is decided,” said Raan. “You will attempt to retake the Alarei. You are hereby given leave to depart the Rayya. A shuttle will be waiting at the secondary docking hangar.” She looked at Rhea’s teammate and said, “Be safe, Tali. This hearing with resume upon your return, or upon determination that you have been killed in action.”

Rhea turned to Tali and nodded as the Admirals stepped down from their stand, Garrus coming to join them. The three of them stepped away from the stands. Rhea exhaled and closed her eyes, drumming her fingers on her armor again. 

“Thank you for agreeing to take back the Alarei, Shepard,” Tali said, grateful. “The Admirals sound sure that my father is already dead, but… I don’t know. We won’t know anything until we get there.”

She nodded, opening her eyes and looking over at her still troubled friend. “Are you okay?” she asked. “They threw a lot at you just then, even before telling you about your father.”

Tali wrung her hands a bit. “I knew that this would be bad, but I guess you’re really never prepared to be tried with treason. And my father…” Rhea looked at her, trying to meet her gaze through her visor. “I don’t know. He could still be alive, they don’t know for certain that he’s not dead. I just don’t know. And I need to find out.”

“You will, Tali. We’ll find him, one way or another.” Rhea forced herself to stop fidgeting and tried to ignore that she could still hear herself breathing. 

She asked Tali if there was anyone that they needed to speak to before they left for the Alarei. They spoke to the Admirals, learned quickly that none of them actually cared about Tali in regards to the trial. As far as Rhea could tell, they were using the trial as an excuse to fight over their differing opinion about the geth. But it was good to see Veetor again, the young quarian doing much better though she doubted that he’d be ready to go back on pilgrimage any time soon. She didn’t ask about the Collectors, not wanting to trouble his mind with such memories, instead praising him for being so strong and wishing him good health. 

Kal’Reegar was a pleasant face to see, so to speak. He had been on Haestrom back when Rhea had picked up Tali for her to join the  _ Normandy.  _ He was a fine soldier and smarter than he gave himself credit for. The data gotten from Haestrom seemed to have been worth the cost of the lives lost, but Rhea didn’t quite understand what the significance of it was. It wasn’t for her to understand, she decided. 

She drummed against her suit as they walked up to the transport station that was to take them to the Alarei. Garrus looked down at her, pinging her so that they could talk to each other through their helmet mics without Tali or anyone else hearing. 

“You okay, Shepard?” he asked carefully. “You’re a lot more…” There was a pause, as though he were trying to find the right word. “Fidgety than usual.”

“Depends on how you define ‘okay’,” she admitted to him, her hands clenching into fists for a moment before relaxing as they got on the shuttle. 

“What’s up?” he asked. 

“Just feeling a little… claustrophobic,” she said as they sat. She continued to drum against her thighs as she closed her eyes and breathed deeply. “The sooner I can take this damned thing off my head, the better.”

“I would've thought that you’d be used to wearing full suits,” he said, a little confused by her discomfort. Which made sense, considering the fact that the two of them had gone on many missions that required them to be fully suited up back on the SR1 and she'd been fine then.

Rhea let out a low chuckle, shaking her head. “I used to be,” she confessed. “But between you and me, being suffocated to death tends to leave an impression. Makes you...  _ wary _ of certain things.”

Garrus was quiet for a moment, as though remembering what had happened. He’d been on the original  _ Normandy  _ when it went down, helping her out with a couple more missions before he planned on returning to the Citadel. He’d been in one of the escape pods that had made it out without her, might've even seen her get spaced from the porthole of his pod. They’d never talked about it. Probably needed to.

“What are you guys talking about?” Tali chimed in, putting an end to the private conversation. She’d noticed that she’d been kept out of the loop and was looking between them. 

Rhea adjusted her mic and looked at Tali, smiling even though the quarian couldn’t see her do so. “Nothing important,” she said, casually blowing off the fact that she’d just admitted to having been traumatized. “Don’t worry about it, Tal. Let’s just focus on the task at hand.”

“Of course,” Garrus said, his mic back to normal as well. Rhea looked him over, then turned away. She rested against the back of her seat and folded her arms over her chest, closing her eyes and trying her best to ignore the universe until Tali announced that they had arrived. Rhea pulled her shotgun from her back, popping in a new thermal clip and opening the airlock. She and Tali took point, going through the labs and looking for any evidence that could explain what had happened. 

Rhea was startled when they encountered geth the first time, her senses restricted and forcing her to keep her guard up more than usual. So much so that she nearly shot Garrus when he came from behind her. She apologized for almost shooting him, Garrus making sure to keep a bit of distance between them so that they didn’t repeat the incident. 

The fact that there were so many geth inside the ship made Rhea more nervous than having to fight them. The Migrant Fleet had to have been compromised by this, despite the assertions in the logs of the previous crew that this was an isolated incident. It made her wonder if it would have been safer to destroy the ship, but they still had to check for survivors and evidence. 

The fight through the ship was much harder than Rhea had anticipated, her shields getting knocked out far too many times for her to count and she’d even managed to take a couple shots that were painful but luckily didn’t penetrate her suit. The last thing she needed was to be unable to return to the Rayya with Tali because of a torn suit and an open wound. She’d take some pain relievers later and sleep sore for a few days once back on her ship, but she’d survive and she wouldn’t bleed on anything or anyone too important.

They kept going through stairwells and hallways, playing logs and looking for anything that could help. All of the experiments had been done in an attempt to create a weapon that could be used against the geth if the Fleet decided to go to war in order to reclaim Rannoch, the quarian homeworld. 

Rhea kept her gun drawn. Around a corner was a quarian lying dead on the floor. She startled at the sight as Tali rushed forward.

“Father!” the girl exclaimed, going to her father’s side. Rhea put her gun on the small of her back and stepped aside to give Tali some space. “No, no, no! You always had a plan. Masked life signs, or... Or a medical stasis program, maybe. You! You wouldn’t… They’re wrong!” It was obvious she was crying now. “You wouldn’t just die like this!”

Rhea reached down and put a hand on Tali’s shoulder, trying to calm her down as Tali stood and hugged her. Tali’s helmet fell against her shoulder and she cried as Rhea held her close, rubbing soothing circles against her back and comforting her friend to the best of her ability.

“Dammit… Dammit,” the quarian sobbed. She sniffled and pulled away while Rhea held her shoulders still. “I’m sorry.”

Rhea gave her shoulders a squeeze and cupped the side of her helmet the way she would have if Tali’s face wasn’t behind the tinted visor. “You have nothing to apologize for,” she assured her, hoping that she sounded as sincere as she felt. 

Tali gave her a little nod and tried to pull herself back together, turning back towards her father’s body. “Maybe… He would have known I’d come. Maybe he left a message.”

She stood back as Tali activate her father’s omni-tool, opening up a holo message that explained everything and told them how to fix it. The next room contained a hub that had activated the geth in the first place. He’d requested for the data to be given to the other Admirals.

The geth in the next room seemed to be tougher than what they’d fought before, one of them massive and reinforced with shields and armor. Tali was able to hack the smaller units, but the large one had too many defenses in place. Rhea biotically flung herself at the geth, her shields going down but she had stopped caring. She shot it over and over, running out of clips for her shotgun and resorting to violently whacking it around with the barrel and her biotics while she got smacked around. She continued to glow blue as the geth finally stopped moving, its mechanical ‘guts’ on the floor. She kneeled beside it trying to catch her breath but the moisture just fogged up her view spot despite her environmental systems. 

Rhea went stiff as Garrus put a hand on her shoulder. “You good, Shepard?” he asked. 

She nodded, still breathing too heavily to speak, and put her hand over his to reassure him. He helped her to stand before joining Tali by the console. 

The console contained the data that Tali’s father had mentioned, alongside more recordings explaining everything that had happened, as well as her father’s desire to keep Tali from being affected by any political backlash.

Despite the fact that now they had more than enough evidence required to clear Tali’s name, she didn’t want to use it. Her father had been a good man before, but if the Admirals knew what he had done he’d be marked as a traitor to the quarian people. Rhea didn’t want to hurt Tali any more than she’d already been, what with so much having happened in such a short period of time. Her mind raced about how she would deal with the trial as they returned to the shuttle and hurried back to the Rayya. 

The hearing could be heard from the hangar, frustrating Rhea and causing her to break into a jog in order to reach the stand before they could declare them dead.

She looked at them with narrowed eyes as she and Tali approached the stand, Garrus sitting in the back and watching them. 

“Sorry we’re late,” Tali said, her voice giving a sense of her annoyance.

“You sure didn’t waste much time declaring us dead,” Rhea snapped at them. “Go get your ship.”

The Admirals seemed nervous by their sudden appearance. “Our apologies,” Gerrel said. “Your success in taking back the Alarei is… very unexpected.”

“But also very welcome,” Raan continued, trying to lighten the mood. 

Gerrel spoke again, “Did you find anything on the Alarei that could clarify what happened there?

Tali and Rhea exchanged looks, Tali pleading to her Commander as she went up to the stand. Rhea looked up, her hands wanting to fidget but she wouldn’t let them. 

“Does Captain Shepard have any new evidence to submit to this hearing?” Raan asked. 

_ Just go for it,  _ she told herself, looking down and going into her Commander Mode again before she turned to the Admirals. 

“Tali helped me defeat Saren and the geth at the Citadel,” Rhea declared, remembering how she would have died had Tali not been by her side. “That should be all the evidence that you need.”

Koris was losing patience with Rhea. “I fail to see what relevance…”

“You’re not really interested in Tali, are you?” Rhea said, her tone sharpening to a cutting edge. “This trial isn’t about her. It’s about the geth.”

“This hearing has nothing to do about the geth!” Koris snapped back, leaning forward in a futile attempt to try and intimidate her.

“You want people to sympathize with them!” she shouted, her own voice ringing in her helmet and she prayed to whatever was out there that her voice was just as loud to them. It seemed to be, as Koris stepped back, startled by her outburst. “Han’Gerrel wants to go to war with them! You don’t give a damn about Tali, none of you do! She knows more about the geth than any other quarian alive. You should be listening to her, not putting her on trial!” The Admirals looked visibly anxious at this point, Rhea pacing back and forth as she spoke, “Tali saved the Citadel! She saved the Alarei! She’s shown the galaxy the value of the quarian people! I can’t think of any evidence stronger than that.”

Rhea breathed deeply as sweat beaded along her nose and brow, wishing she could wipe at her face while the Admirals looked to each other and rendered their judgement. 

Raan looked down at her niece as she spoke. “Tali’Zorah. In light of your service history, we do not find sufficient evidence to convict. You are hereby cleared of all charges.” She turned to Rhea. “Commander Shepard, please accept these gifts in appreciation for you taking the time to represent one of our people.”

She looked up at them. “If you appreciate me so much, then listen- the Reapers are coming and your help will be needed to stop them. Please. Don’t throw your lives away in a war against the geth.”

Koris seemed please, for once. “Thank you, Commander Shepard. I hope that this board carefully considers your advice.”

Rhea’s eyes narrowed and she pushed back from the stand, shaking her head as they continued to do nothing but try and turn on each other. 

“This hearing is concluded,” Raan said, finally ending the trial. “Go in peace, Tali’Zorah vas Normandy. Keehlah Se’lai.”

The crowd echoed the blessing and began to leave. Rhea sighed, drumming her fingers against her armor. Now that it was over, she finally noticed the dull headache that had been trying to get her attention.

Tali sounded happy as she stepped over. “I can’t believe you pulled that off,” her quarian companion said as Garrus joined them once again. “What you said… I’ve never had anyone speak like that in my defense.”

“That’s our Shepard,” Garrus said, a smile in his voice that even seemed to cheer Tali up some more. “Probably the only person alive who can solve problems by yelling really loud.”

She smirked. “I do my best. And you’re worth it, Tali.”

Tali turned back to her. “Thank you for being there for my father and me, even when… Thank you.”

Rhea grinned up at her. “We can always go back and get you exiled, if you want,” she joked. 

Her companion giggled a little at this. “Thanks, but I’m fine with things like this. It’s fun watching you shout.”

“Always a pleasure to entertain,” Rhea joked. Tali laughed again. “Come on, Tali’Zorah vas Normandy. Let’s get back to our ship.”

Tali seemed to smile at this. “Thank you… Captain.”

The three of them were contented for the time being and bid farewell to Kal’Reegar and Veetor before leaving for the  _ Normandy. _

Rhea was more than happy to be back on her ship, tearing her helmet off once she got through the airlock and pulling out the flattened bun she’d had to wear in order to get her hair into the helmet. Her sweat soaked locks spilled out around her shoulders. 

“Oh, Keehlah,” Tali said when she saw Rhea. “Um, Shepard.”

She looked over at her companion. “What is it?”

“You should see Dr. Chakwas,” she said. 

Garrus stepped over, his own helmet in his hands. “What’s going on-? Oh, damn.”

“What?” 

“Tali’s right,” was his answer. “You should go to the med bay.”

Rhea huffed, pushing her hair back. “Fine, but I’m sure that you guys are overreacting.”

The two of them exchanged looks before walking away. Rhea hmph-ed and fanned herself with her hand as she started for the elevator behind her companions, she and Garrus getting off at the crew deck level. He walked with her towards the med bay before turning towards the ship’s battery. Rhea entered the bay and watched as Dr. Chakwas turned to greet her. 

A disappointed look fell over the good doctor’s face. “Oh, Shepard.”

Confusion contorted Rhea’s expression. “What?”

Dr. Chakwas just directed her to strip off her armor and sit on the bed. Rhea did as told and sat in her sports bra and boxer shorts, cringing at the sight of her own battered body, bright bruises up and down her arms and torso from where she’d gotten shot and beat by the geth. Her suit could only take so much of the impact once the shields were out. As she examined her armor, she realized that it was probably time for an upgrade. There were holes in the plating and the undersuit had taken some fire that explained the minor burns on her skin. She hoped that nothing had contaminated the live ship.

The doctor stepped over to her, taking her face in her hands. Upon having the line of her jaw touched, Rhea seethed and flinched away from Dr. Chakwas. Her face flushed slightly at the embarrassment of having done that and she closed her eyes, biting down as the doctor continued to poke and prod at her. The burns could be treated with some kind of cream that she had, while the bruises would just have to heal on their own. As for Rhea’s face, the shock from the shot she’d taken to her helmet had evidently given her a nasty bruise along the right side of her face where she’d been bashed, resulting in the dark mark that had given her companions pause. And then…

“A concussion?” 

Chakwas nodded while Rhea stared at her. “It’s likely nothing too serious, but with the hit you took I wouldn’t doubt that you’ve got one. It’d be best if you refrained from getting in any more fights for a little while, at least until you’ve healed up a bit.”

Rhea bowed her head, sighing. “If you say so.”

“I do,” Chakwas said, smirking. “Go get yourself cleaned up and come back so I can treat those burns and give you some pain relievers.”

“Works for me,” Rhea said, hopping down from the bed while Chakwas moved her tattered armor to the side. She worked her way up to her cabin and took off the last of her clothes, stepping into her bathroom and turning on the water. 

The sight of her wounds was shocking and she finally understood why Tali and Garrus had reacted the way that they did. She was fucked up, to say the least, the right side of her face bright purple and swelling just a bit. But at least the cybernetics had healed completely, meaning that the red glowing lines were finally gone. Took them long enough.

Her skin stung as she washed up, the soap cleaning her burns but making them sting more than they had before. As she washed up her hair she felt a bump on the back of her head from where she’d gotten rattled by the hits she took. Swallowing, she figured it was better to be safe than sorry and decided to keep her biotics off for the time being, just in case her implant had gotten jostled. She’d been hit hard before.

She dried off and got dressed, as usual, in loose black pants and a tank top over her regular undergarments. Rhea fidgeted with her hands as she returned to the crew deck. Chakwas fixed up her burns, putting patches over them to ensure that they healed properly. The pain meds she was given were to be taken with food, which was just as well because she still needed to eat her lunch and dinner. She felt as though she could eat both in one sitting. 

Rhea left the med bay with pills in hand and headed over to the mess hall to get some rations for her dinner. She got a glass of water and downed the meds, jabbing at the blob of unidentifiable food with a fork and stuffing her face. Even after growing up with crappy food, she’d never get used to the taste of rations. She needed to go back to the Citadel and get the higher quality food that the cook wanted. Maybe she would have a real meal for a change. 

Her gaze shifted over to the door of the battery, her thoughts drifting to Garrus. He’d gone in there almost automatically, not even stopping by the mess. Rhea tapped her fork against the tray, mentally debating before dropping the utensil and turning to grab a thing of dextro rations from the cupboard for him. 

She carried over her food and his, knocking on the door. It took a few seconds but eventually Garrus opened up the door. His eyes went wide at the sight of her. 

“Damn,” he said, looking her over. 

Rhea smirked at his reaction. “Heh, yeah. Our faces almost match,” she said, looking up at him for his reaction. He smiled slightly. She got a little flustered by this, biting at her lip and looking between him and the rations. “I, uh, noticed that you hadn’t eaten anything. Just wanted to make sure that you weren’t accidentally starving yourself.”

Garrus let out a chuckle, taking the dextro rations from her. “Thanks, Shepard. I appreciate it.”

“That what I’m here for,” she said. There was a brief moment of silence where they looked at each other awkwardly before she asked, “Can I come in?” 

He nodded and said, “Yeah, sure.” He stepped aside and let her in. She sat on the crate that was always there, the metal box having effectively become her spot for whenever she came by. She wondered if that was why he hadn’t moved it.

“I hope I’m not disturbing you,” Rhea said, watching him open up the rations and eat.

Garrus shook his head. “No, you aren’t. I was just checking my messages.”

“I bet it was mostly spam,” she commented, eating more of her bland food. He chuckled at this, the sound low and throaty. 

“Mostly,” he confirmed.

“You waiting for any particular message?” she inquired, feeling as though there was something going unspoken. 

He paused for a second at this, looking away from Rhea. “You could say that.”

Her brows furrowed. “Garrus?”

“Don’t worry about it, Shepard,” he said, meaning to reassure her but only making her more concerned. She stared at him expectedly until he spoke again. “Look, if it turns out to be something, you’ll be the first to know.” 

Rhea shifted on the crate, deciding not to pry. “Alright. I trust you, Garrus, so I promise I won’t bug you about it.”

“I appreciate that, Shepard,” he said, a bit of relief in his voice. 

She smiled at him, both of them going for their food. It wasn’t worth it to bother with digging. She respected and trusted him too much. He’d tell her if something bad was happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading! I hope you consider leaving a comment, I love getting feedback and constructive criticism <3


	6. Part 1 - Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhea's patience with Cerberus is wearing thin.

* * *

 

She’d barely recovered from her fight on the Alarei, her bruises having faded from dark purple to a greenish-yellowish color, when the Illusive Man requested a call with her. Rhea stood in the comm room with her arms folded over her chest, the situation as shady as the man she was talking to. She didn’t feel any reason to believe him, despite the fact that he’d been good on his word so far.

According to him, a Collector ship had been disabled by a turian patrol, the turians getting killed in the process. The mission? Board the disabled ship and get information on the Collectors that would help the Commander’s team get to the Collector homeworld.

She went to the armory and got ready, strapping on the new plating that she’d gotten. It was supposed to reinforce her shields, something that she’d need for the coming mission. Disabled or not, there were still dangers to going into the unknown. She would have to be careful, especially since…

“You good, Shepard?”

Rhea went stiff at the sound of Garrus' voice. She looked up briefly and then back to the helmet that was sitting on the table. “I, uh. Yeah. Yeah, good. I’m, uh, good.”

The words were more to herself than him, remembering how badly damaged she’d gotten, and still was, while last in the helmet. She stiffened when Garrus put a hand on her shoulder, and then wondered when their relationship had become so physical. Not that she minded, she found that she liked it. It was just that Garrus never really seemed the type before. Turians had a tendency to be pretty uptight about those kinds of things, but Garrus had learned that physical contact was an effective way of getting his friend to relax when she was stressed.

“You’ll be alright,” he said, his voice low to ensure that she was the only one who could hear him.

She exhaled, putting her hand over his for a moment as she calmed down and relaxed into his touch. “Yeah,” she agreed. “Thanks.”

Garrus pulled his hand back and switched his attention over to his weapons, inspecting them to make sure that they were in good condition. She watched him for a moment as he looked over his rifles, making mental notes of his body language and just examining his silhouette. Her shoulders had relaxed but she was left with a weird feeling in her chest that she didn't recognize. Rhea disregarded it and refocused on the task at hand.

She had Tali come up from the Engineering deck to join them. Rhea wanted the two people she trusted most on her six. She had no clue what they'd find once they were on board, making sure that she had a decent shotgun just in case they got in a firefight. Her heavy pistol was also taken care of, and for a change she brought along her SMG. It was next to useless for the way she fought, but it couldn't hurt to have it. Same went for her rocket launcher.

Rhea stared at the helmet once again before letting it win, making sure her hair was tight in its bun so that she could slip her head into it. She clicked it into the neck, the life support systems starting up. She turned on the external mic so that she could hear her crew as she joined Joker on the bridge, looking out the window and finding it hard to believe that anything could take down something so big, let alone a stray patrol.

There was so much wrong with everything that she and her team saw once on board the Collector ship. For one, it was quiet. Eerily so. It put her on edge while EDI examined the vessel. Rhea kept expecting something to jump out at her at every turn, which made it all the more nerve wracking when nothing actually did.

They passed by human bodies that had been left to rot and empty pods like the ones that they'd seen on Horizon. The pods were used to transport humans from the colony to the ship. They were lined on the walls like insect eggs, the sight making her uncomfortable. Bugs weren’t really a common sight when living on ships.

As they continued through the seemingly empty ship they came across a console beside the bodies of Collectors. Rhea’s brows furrowed as they approached it, activating her omni-tool and scanning it.

“EDI, I’m uploading the data from this terminal to you,” she said into her mic. “See if you can figure out what they were doing.”

The AI went to work at once analyzing the data. “The Collectors were running baseline genetic comparisons between their species and humanity.”

She was still confused, looking down at the bodies of the Collectors. “They were looking for similarities?”

“I have no hypothesis on their motivations,” EDI said. “All I have are the preliminary results. They reveal something remarkable.”

“And that would be…?”

“A quad-strand structure, identical to traces collected from ancient ruins,” she said. “Only one race is known to have this structure: the Protheans.”

Rhea was jolted with a wave of confusion, stepping back and looking at the bodies. “The Protheans were driven to extinction fifty thousand years ago, are you telling me that they’re still alive?”

“These are no longer Prothean, Shepard,” EDI clarified. “Their genes show distinct signs of extensive genetic rewrite. The Reapers have repurposed them to suit their needs.”

Her stomach twisted at this. She had no clue if EDI had only connected to her helmet or not as she turned towards the others. “The Protheans were turned into these monsters and the Reapers enslaved them. This is disgusting.”

But impressive. Rhea hated the Reapers with every fiber of her being, wanted to blast them back into whatever black hole they crawled out of. But she couldn’t help admiring the strategy. If someone wanted to destroy all sentient life in the galaxy, then they might as well use the leftovers to keep the cycle going.

She felt a little guilty for thinking like this, but it didn’t last long. They needed to get moving. She looked down and noticed the weapons scattered on the ground. Among them was a shotgun that was far more impressive than what she’d brought and also still in good condition. Rhea crouched down and picked it up. It was heavy and powerful, but she was strong. She discarded her previous shotgun, putting the thermal clips into the new weapon.

Rhea was still uneasy as they kept going through the ship, pods lining the ceiling and walls. Her heart jumped into her throat at this, tightening when EDI told her that she wasn’t detecting any signs of life.

 _It’s a better fate than whatever the Collectors had for them,_ she assured herself.

“ _Commander, you gotta hear this,_ ” Joker’s voice chimed in through the comm. “ _On a hunch, I asked EDI to run an analysis on this ship._ ”

Her brows furrowed. “What did you find?”

“I compared the EM profile against data recorded from the original _Normandy_ two years ago,” the AI said. “They are an exact match.”

Rhea’s grip on her shotgun tightened. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” she snapped. “This damn ship is the one that killed me? There’s no way that can be a coincidence.”

“ _Something doesn’t add up, Commander,_ ” Joker agreed. “ _Watch your back._ ”

She sighed, rolling her shoulders back as she walked. “This feels like a trap.”

“I thought being a pessimist was my job,” Garrus commented.

Rhea smirked, rolling her eyes at the sound of his voice. “Laugh it up, Vakarian,” she joked, feeling some of her tension melt away.

It returned the moment they stepped into open space, the ceiling dozens of meters above them. Rhea’s stomach dropped at the sight.

“Oh shit,” she swore, green eyes wide.

Like the previous walls, the massive expanse above them was dotted with more pods than Rhea could count, stretching on through the whole of the vessel. They were empty, for now, but how long could that last?

“Keelah,” Tali gasped, standing by Rhea’s side.

“They could take every human in the Terminus Systems and still not have enough to fill these pods,” Garrus said, looking up with them.

“They’re going to target Earth,” Tali concluded, still looking up at the pods.

“No way in hell they’ll lay a hand on Earth,” Rhea growled, filled with determination as she kept going.

There was still nothing around. Not a single Collector or Seeker had come for them. The ship may have been disabled, but why the hell hadn’t they been noticed by now?

As Rhea came up to a console she understood.

She activated her omni-tool again, scanning the console and establishing a link.

“EDI,” she said into the mic, the all hearing AI still attentive. “I’m establishing a bridge between you and this ship. See if there’s anything useful in the data banks.”

“Data mine in progress,” EDI confirmed, going through the information.

Loud static came over the comms and the console seemed to explode, the metal platform they were on jostling. Rhea jumped as the console burst, regaining her balance and her irritation.

“What the hell just happened?” she snapped into the mic.

“ _Major power surge,_ ” the pilot explained. “ _Everything went dark, but we’re up again now._ ”

“No kidding,” Rhea mumbled, looking around and getting the feeling that something was watching them.

“I managed to divert a majority of the overload to non-critical systems,” EDI said. “Shepard, it was not a malfunction. This was a trap.”

As if on cue, the platform detached and began floating upwards, causing Rhea and her teammates to be thrown off balance.

“I fucking knew it,” Rhea cursed, holding her arms out so that she didn’t fall. “EDI, we need some help here.”

“I am having trouble maintaining a connection. There is someone else in the system.”

“Then kick them out!” she snapped, her senses on high alert as the platform suddenly stopped, knocking Garrus to the ground. Tali helped him stand as Rhea armed herself with her shotgun, another platform coming towards them. Something told her that the Collectors knew that they were on their ship.

“Connection reestablished,” EDI announced. “I need to finish the download before I can override any systems,”

“Get it done fast, EDI,” Rhea demanded, ducking behind the console to stay in cover. Tali and Garrus both did the same, waiting for the incoming platform to get near enough for them to have a clear shot. Garrus took out a couple with his sniper rifle before it made contact, making the girls’ lives just a little easier.

Garrus provided support throughout the fight and Tali’s combat drone was extremely helpful in picking off Collectors. In general, Collectors were easier to kill than geth, especially when in a full suit. Geth were too quiet and weren’t as obvious about their attacks while also being very mobile. Collectors, on the other hand, typically stood by and got shot, ducking behind cover every now and then. The only tough ones had armor and were known to them as Harbingers, something taking control of them that made them stronger and resistant to biotics. Which meant for Rhea that she would have to chance it with her shotgun. Even then, the Harbinger Collectors were easy enough to deal with and more of a nuisance than anything.

She kept her guard up, fighting side by side with Tali while EDI continued to do whatever it was that EDI did.

“Shepard, you must manually reestablish my link to the command console,” the AI said. Rhea sent forth a biotic wave that threw the remaining Collectors off of the platform.

“Give me a damn second,” she seethed through clenched teeth, keeping her cool as best as she could. She activated her omni-tool, quickly linking the _Normandy_ back into the system of the Collector ship. The console lit up and EDI’s usual blue hologram appeared.

“I have regained control of the platform,” she announced.

“Took long enough,” Rhea grumbled. The platform lifted up into the air much smoother than it had before. “Did you get anything useful?”

“I found data that could help us successfully navigate the Omega 4 relay,” she said.

Rhea’s eyes went wide at this. “Wow. Good job, EDI.”

“I also found the turian distress call that served as the lure for this trap. The Collectors were the source. It is unusual.”

“I don’t see how,” Rhea said. “They would have sent out the initial message as bait, try and lure us out here.”

“No,” EDI insisted. “It is unusual because turian emergency channels have secondary encryption. It is corrupted in the message. It’s not possible that the Illusive Man would believe that the distress call was genuine.”

She folded her arms across her chest, eyeing the holo with suspicion. “What makes you so sure?”

“I found the anomaly with Cerberus detection protocols,” EDI explained. “He wrote them.”

“ _He knew it was a trap?_ ” Joker’s voice came through the comm channel. “ _Why would he send us into a trap?_ ”

Rhea ground her teeth together and flexed her fingers, her biotics charging though she didn’t have anything to throw this time. “That son of a bitch better have some god damned answers for me when we get back to the ship,” she snapped, too angry to notice that her teammates had added their own input.

“ _Uh, Commander,_ ” Joker said, pulling her back into focus. “ _We’ve got another problem. The Collector ship is powering up. You need to get out of there before their weapons come online, I’m not losing another_ Normandy!”

The angry Vanguard stopped paying too much attention to what her crew and companions were saying, her focus turning to the directions given to her by the AI. She continued to hide behind cover, using her anger fueled biotics to tear her enemies apart. With each wave that they fought past EDI gave her directions to get back to the escape shuttle.

The moment that Rhea saw the praetorian she ducked behind cover and prayed that it hadn’t seen her as she pulled the rocket launcher from her back. Fortunately for her Tali’s combat drone was a useful distraction that allowed the pressure to be taken off of the team and allow her to shoot the hell out of the thing. It took unloading the entire launcher, but it went down. EDI made sure the next doorway stayed open as the team made it through.

Rhea’s eyes kept scanning over the tunnels, something always around the corner trying to kill her. As they neared where they started, a hoard of husks came upon them. Blood drained from her face as she found herself surrounded, the monsters pounding against her armor and doing their best to claw through. Panic surged through her at the thought of them going for her life-support systems. She flexed her fingers, channeling as much energy as she could around her before forcing it outwards against the husks so that they were flung against the walls of the tunnel.

Breathing in, she looked around to make sure that her friends had held their own. They seemed okay and she motioned for them to keep going, running for the shuttle.

The pilot quickly closed the door and started out of the ship, headed directly for the _Normandy's_ hangar. Rhea jumped out of the shuttle when she could, running as fast as she possible to get to the bridge with Joker.

Her pilot and the AI bickered for a brief moment before EDI fired up the mass effect core, making an emergency FTL jump into who knows where.

Rhea stood behind Joker for a moment, staring at the console as they drifted. They’d gotten away. Her hand gripped the back of his seat as she bowed her head, breathing out a sigh of relief before pulling off her helmet and letting her black hair loose.

“Good job, Joker,” she said, carefully clapping a hand on his shoulder. The pilot smirked and she looked to the glowing blue holo. “You too, EDI. Sorry if I got pissed off at you back there.”

“Things got heated down there, it’s alright,” Joker said. “I’ll keep the comm channels open for your inevitable talk with the Illusive Man. I’ll let you know when he checks in.”

Rhea rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Can’t wait.”

She got herself cleaned up and out of her armor, pacing on the crew deck before Joker came over the comms to tell her that the galaxy’s biggest asshole was ready to speak with her.

Stepping into the terminal, she closed her eyes as the bright holo surrounded her. She squinted, crossing her arms over her chest when she heard the Illusive Man.

“Shepard,” he started, that husky in all the wrong ways voice coming through the speaker. “Looks like EDI extracted some interesting data before the Collector ship came online.”

Rhea’s hands clenched into fists. “Cut the act, asshole,” she snapped. “You set us up and you better have a damn good reason for it.”

“We needed information on the Omega 4 relay,” he said easily, as though reciting his lines from a script. “That required direct access to Collector data. It was too good an opportunity to pass up.”

“Sure, but I don’t like surprises,” she said, glaring. “Especially not when my life and the lives of my teammates are on the line.”

“I put you at risk, yes,” he admitted, still too easily for her to believe a word that he was saying was true. “But without that information, we don’t reach the Collector homeworld. And you and every other human may as well be dead.”

 _Let’s start with you,_ Rhea thought bitterly.

“It was a trap. But I was confident in your abilities. And don’t forget EDI. The Collectors couldn’t have anticipated her.”

She still didn’t like it, but they were all intact. Tali and Garrus hadn’t gotten as much fire as she did, mainly because she wouldn’t allow it. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t upset.

“You have one job,” she began, slow and processed in order to keep her tone level. “Information. It’s the only reason why I’m still here. If I can’t trust your intel, you are useless to me.”

“It’s never that simple,” he said, a hint of annoyance in his voice. Rhea felt a bit of pride for having gotten under his skin. “You of all people should know that.”

She scoffed, shaking her head and looking down. “I know that I’ll be a lot more careful. With the Collectors and you.”

“This is no time for petty grudges,” he said, getting madder and lifting up her mood. “Things are about to get a lot tougher.”

Her brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“EDI confirmed our suspicions. The Reapers and Collectors use an advanced Identify Friend/Foe system that the relays recognize. All we need to do is get our hands on one of those IFFs.”

Her fingers itched at this. “I was just on the Collectors’ ship, why didn’t you say anything about getting their IFF?”

“As I said, EDI just confirmed it. Besides, you wouldn’t have had time to find and extract it. But we do have options.”

It was unnerving to have someone tell her that she couldn’t do something. Rhea was stubborn, as evidenced by her N7 designation and pretty much all of her service history. If she’d known that they needed to find something while they were still aboard, then she’d have found the time. But there was no use in getting frustrated over this.

The Illusive Man went on to tell her about an Alliance team who had been investigating a planet, Klendagon, and in the process lead Cerberus to a derelict Reaper that was orbiting a brown dwarf star. Rhea didn’t particularly care about the details.

“I only believe you because I doubt that you would pull the same thing on me twice,” she said, staring straight ahead and keeping her eyes narrowed.

Rhea didn’t bother paying much attention to anything else that the Illusive Man was saying, only knowing that she needed to get in touch with her crew to explain things. Miranda, Jacob, and Mordin were the only ones to show up.

She explained what had happened to them, knowing that she’d have to reiterate the same to her friends later. Jacob was as frustrated as she was, while Mordin’s salarian mind had already decided that it had been a logical decision.

“I’m still not happy about it. He tries something like that again and the Collectors will be the least of his problems,” Rhea griped, her fingers itching. She busied her hands with pushing back her hair, looking over at the console in the center of the comm room. “EDI, are you sure that this IFF will work?”

The AI appeared before them in her usual holographic form. “My analysis is accurate,” she said. “I have also determined the approximate location of the Collector homeworld based on navigational data from the ship.”

A model of the Milky Way appeared in EDI’s place on the console, a marker designating the location to be in the center of the galaxy.

Miranda looked at it, puzzled. “That can’t be right.”

Rhea shook her head. “EDI doesn’t make mistakes,” she said, though she wondered. “The homeworld must be located somewhere in the galactic core.”

“Can’t be,” Jacob argued. “The core is just black holes and exploding suns. There are no habitable planets.”

“Could be artificial construction,” Mordin theorized. “Space station protected by powerful mass effect fields and radiation shields.”

“Even the Collectors don’t have that kind of technology,” Miranda said, shooting the theory down.

“The Collectors aren’t the real enemy here,” Rhea countered. “They’re just puppets, and we know what their masters are capable of. Reapers built the mass relays, the Citadel… Who says that they can’t build a station surrounded by black holes?” She looked down at the galaxy holo. “No wonder no one has ever survived a trip through the Omega 4 relay.”

“The logical conclusion is that there is a safe zone just beyond the relay,” EDI chimed in. “A region where ships can survive. Standard relay transit protocols would not allow safe transport. Drift of several thousand kilometers is common and would be fatal in the galactic core. The Reaper IFF must trigger the relay to use more advanced, encrypted protocols.”

Rhea nodded, looking up at her associates and stepping back from the console. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” she said. “Just ‘cause we can follow them through the relay doesn’t mean that we can take them out. We’re not going after them until I know for sure that we are ready.”

“Sooner or later we need that IFF,” Jacob argued. “I say, why wait?”

“Because I’m the one in charge,” Rhea countered in her Commander Voice, narrowing her eyes at the young man as though she were daring him to speak against her. “This isn’t a game, it’s a mission. One that we’re risking our lives for. We aren’t ready for a fight against the Collectors just yet. We’ll get that IFF when I say that we’re ready and no sooner.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Jacob said, standing straighter.

She nodded affirmatively. “Good. If that’s all, then crew dismissed.” Rhea looked between them as they left the room. She waited for them all to leave before letting out her breath and resting her hands against the round of the console, leaning and closing her eyes.

She felt like taking a nap, but there was no time. She would rest when she was done with everything.

Rhea stepped back and headed for the tech lab, spending far too much time making upgrades and checking upgrades and planning for upgrades. Tali, Garrus, and Jacob had supplied valuable upgrades that gave the _Normandy_ an edge that she hadn’t had before. The cannons would provide a substantial amount of power for defense and offense, while the new shielding and armor plating would hopefully keep everyone alive during a heavy firefight or whatever they came across once through the relay.

While in the labs she had the chance to chat with Mordin. The two respected each other despite having opposing views on matters such as the genophage. Rhea had seen what the genophage had done to the krogan, one of her close friends from the SR1 having been Urdnot Wrex. The krogan had no hope anymore, driving them to a slow extinction of throwing themselves into the fire. When they discovered that the rogue Spectre, Saren, had been creating a cure, Rhea had almost had to pull the trigger on another. But she and Wrex came to the mutual agreement that they needed to destroy the abomination that had been created. It wasn’t a proper cure, but despite the fact that Rhea knew she’d done the right thing, she still felt guilty about it.

She enjoyed the chat, Mordin’s theoretical topics keeping her thoughts off of the impending mission until her work arranging for upgrades was done. If possible she wanted to head to the Citadel before Cerberus had a chance to pester her about errands that they apparently didn’t have anyone else available for. She wanted to send her mother a message and check in on Anderson, feeling bad for having put him on the Council after having seen the crap that he was having to deal with. He was still her mentor and had been for a number of years. He felt more like a father to her than her real father most of the time.

Rhea hummed as she went up to the crew deck, her bag of marbles in the pocket of her pants. Samara was sitting on the floor as usual, meditating and stopping as she heard her come in. The asari was kind and patient with Rhea as she helped her adjust her energy to meditate. The two sat across from each other, Samara giving the Vanguard assistance and guidance when needed. While the night hours crept in on them, the two biotics continued on in near silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please considering leaving a comment, I always appreciate getting feedback. 
> 
> Until next time!


	7. Part 1 - Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A favor for Garrus hits Rhea a little too close to home.

* * *

 

The delightful Kelly Chambers was always on top of things when it came to the crew, not letting anything get past Rhea. Kelly could notice the little things in people, changes in behavior and things of that nature. And whenever she noted a change the Commander was the first to know. For this, Rhea was grateful, since without the Yeoman available to relay the information to her she would have been walking in blind. But Kelly told her how Garrus had received some kind of message that was troubling him. Rhea remembered how he’d told her that she would be the first to know if his search for something actually produced something.

She rapped her knuckles against the door to battery, knowing that he would be in there since he rarely left. The door opened and she noticed the tension in the room. Her friend relaxed a bit as she walked in.

“What's going on?” she asked. “Kelly said that something was wrong.”

“Yeah,” he started. He got more confident and there was a bit of fire in his eyes as he spoke. “I just heard from one of my contacts on the Citadel.”

Rhea watched and listened carefully as he explained the situation. Garrus had been tracking down the man who had betrayed his vigilante team ever since he left Omega, the lack of mercs around giving him the free time to do so. She’d heard the story of the betrayal before, and she understood his anger. The lead was an individual called Fade, someone very good at helping people who didn’t want to be found disappear. Fade had apparently been seen with Sidonis, and Garrus was willing to risk going to the Citadel in hopes of finding and killing him.

She couldn’t help but be a bit disturbed by her best friend’s desire to kill the man. He sounded like a coward that deserved to rot in a cell rather than be shot.

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” she asked him, leaning against the console and looking up at him. 

“I’m sure,” he said. “I don’t need you to agree with me, but I’d like your help.”

Rhea looked up at him for a moment, meeting his gaze. There was a mix of desperation in the fire that lit up in his bright blue eyes. He was her best friend. She had to help him out. 

Caving in, she stood straighter and said, “Alright. Where do we find Fade?”

“I’ve already arranged a meeting,” Garrus said, a bit relieved. “We’ll meet him in a warehouse in the neon markets down in the Zakera ward.” She repeated this under her breath, the location a mouthful. “Thanks, Shepard. I appreciate you taking the time to help me.”

She smiled softly at him. “Of course.”

Rhea let him get back to work and headed back up to the bridge to tell Joker that they needed to chart a course for the Citadel. 

The handful of hours that it took to make the jump to the Serpent Nebula was enough time for Rhea to get her gear together. The Council giving her back her Spectre status meant that she was able to keep her guns and armor when on the massive station, as were her teammates. She pulled her black hair back into a messy bun and left it alone, not feeling like putting forth effort in her appearance when it was just going to get ruined anyways. 

Finding Fade seemed easy at first. Just a volus with a couple krogan guards that Rhea didn't have the patience for, she and Garrus killing the mercs with a couple shots.

Rhea strode over, keeping her gun drawn and in the volus' line of sight. “We’re looking for someone. A client of yours.”

The volus seemed to grow nervous, though Rhea couldn't really tell. “Not mine!” he insisted. “I'm not Fade, I just work for him.”

She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth. “Figures,” she breathed, putting her gun back on her hip.

Garrison stepped forward and kneeled down in front of the volus, sticking his pistol against his suit. “Well, then maybe you’d like to tell us where to find him.”

“Yes, of course!” he stammered. “He’s in the factory district. Works out of the old foundry.”

Garrus looked back at Rhea. “I know the place.”

The volus began to pace as Garrus stepped back, straightening out and watching with Rhea. “He’s got a lot of mercs there. Blue Suns… Harkin thinks they’re protecting him.”

Rhea closed her eyes and sneered at the memory of Harkin, a drunken C-Sec officer that had pissed her off when they’d met. “How the hell did Harkin turn into Fade?”

The contact was helpful enough to explain how Harkin had used his knowledge of C-Sec to make himself and others vanish from records. Rhea couldn’t help but be a bit impressed, though the individuals that Harkin was helping disappear were likely criminals or runaways like Sidonis. On one hand he was keeping them from getting shot in the back, but on the other he was keeping them from a likely deserved shot in the back.

There was no winning here, it seemed. 

It seemed a waste to kill the volus, so Rhea let him go. Her threats were empty, telling him that if they didn’t find Harkin that they’d be back for him. It was just to scare him. Garrus' threats, on the other hand, didn’t seem nearly as empty, and it made her nervous. 

Garrus and Rhea had their similarities. At the top of the list was that they were both hot-headed people. Rhea had done her best to learn to control her temper since being brought back to life, but it wasn’t always easy. She’d tried to show mercy before, but it was easy to be cruel. This mission that she was on for her best friend… She couldn’t help but feel a little off about the situation. In this war of morals she didn’t know what to do. Being opposed to the idea of shooting some bastard was a different experience for her. More often than not Rhea let her shotgun do the talking for her when situations got tough. 

She and Tali followed behind Garrus as he took the lead, taking them to the foundry that the contact had told them about. The two exchanged looks, both of them worried for their friend. Green eyes looked up at the back of the black and blue armor that her friend wore, wanting to know just what he was thinking. If this was really what he needed to do. 

Garrus' less than pleasant mood understandably persisted as they pressed on. During a respite from the fighting she inquired if he was still planning on killing Sidonis. His answer never changed: he was going to put a bullet between his former teammate’s eyes. Rhea wondered if this would actually solve anything. Betrayal like this was serious, but would another dead body really fix things? There were worse things than death. 

Fighting through the Blue Suns was as easy as anything these days. They had guns and Rhea’s team had guns. They had numbers, but Rhea had biotics and her shotgun, an amazing engineer, and a damn good sniper. She also still had a rocket launcher on her back in case all else failed. Considering the mechs that Harkin dropped on the three of them just before they could reach him, it was lucky that she had that launcher. She kept a barrier up around her, drawing the attention of the mechs and keeping her teammates out of the fire. She got smacked around pretty good by them, but after exhausting her heavy ammo they went down in flames. 

Rhea kept her shotgun drawn as they got into Harkin’s little safe spot, Garrus moving to the opposite end to flank him. She stayed behind her corner, waiting for him to get in position, before moving out of cover. Her breathing was heavy as her eyes narrowed at the asshole, his gaze meeting hers and the panic setting in as he tried to make a break for it. 

Garrus knocked Harkin around, pressing him against the wall and glowering down at him. 

“So  _ Fade.  _ Couldn’t make yourself disappear, huh?” the turian said, his voice low and angry. 

Harkin put on a sweet disposition and smiled. “Come on, Garrus. We can work this out. Whaddaya need?”

He let the human go and paced back. “I’m looking for someone.”

The man let out a chuckle. “Well, I guess we both have something the other one wants.”

Garrus snapped and turned back, punching Harkin in the gut so that he keeled over. 

Rhea shook her head, lowering her gun as she stepped forward to him. “Bet that hurt,” she taunted, her nose turned up at him. “Just tell us what we want to know.”

“Maybe,” he said, standing back up. “I still haven’t heard what you want.”

“You helped a friend of mine disappear,” Garrus said, standing beside Rhea. “I need to find him.”

Harkin was visibly annoyed. “I might need a bit more information than that.”

“His name’s Sidonis. Turian, from…”

Garrus was cut off by Harkin saying, “I know who he is, and I’m not telling you squat.”

Rhea put her shotgun on the small of her back and folded her arms over her chest, looking up at him disdainfully. “Harkin, is a little information really worth all the trouble?”

“I don’t give out client information,” he said simply. “It’s bad for business.”

Patience running thin, Garrus kneed him hard in the gut, successfully knocking him to the ground so that Garrus could step on his chest. “Know what else is bad for business? A broken neck.”

She glanced up at him and swallowed a nervous lump that had formed in her throat as she watched Harkin squirm until he was willing to talk. Garrus didn’t let up until she gave his arm a tug. He glanced at her and stopped, letting Harkin get to his feet. 

“Terminus really changed you, huh, Garrus?” Harkin rasped out.

Garrus looked away from him. “No, but Sidonis… opened my eyes. Now arrange a meeting.”

Tali stood behind them as Harkin moved to a terminal, calling up Garrus' target. Rhea looked to her quarian companion as Garrus pulled a pistol from his hip, ready for Harkin to turn on them. The two of them exchanged concerned looks before refocusing. The human finished his call and turned back to the trio. 

“He wants to meet outside Orbital Lounge, middle of the day,” Harkin said. “So, if our business is done, I’ll be going…”

The turian grabbed him by his shirt collar, lifting him in the air a couple inches. “I don’t think so. You’re a criminal now, Harkin.”

He laughed this off as he stared at Garrus, a smile on his face that seemed to say ‘go ahead and try it’. “So, what? You’re gonna kill me? That’s not your style, Garrus.”

The two of them stared each other down for a moment as Garrus warred with himself, finally letting go of Harkin’s shirt and saying, “Kill you, no. But I don’t mind slowing you down a little.”

Rhea watched as Garrus shot Harkin in the leg, the man going down to the ground yet again as he seethed, “Bastard!”

She looked up at him. “Was that really necessary, Garrus?” she asked, staring at the man she had very little remorse for as he bled on the ground.

“He’ll survive. And maybe he’ll think twice before he tries something like this again,” Garrus defended, holstering his gun. 

“C-Sec won’t let that happen and you know it,” Rhea said, frowning. 

Were Garrus human his expressions would have been easier to read, but Rhea could just tell that he wasn’t very happy. He looked down at Harkin and said, “Lucky for you C-Sec has some of the best doctors on the Citadel.”

“Screw you, Garrus,” Harkin hissed. 

Rhea rolled her eyes and turned on her heel, her back to the bleeding man as she brushed back a stray lock of hair that had fallen in her face. “Come on, let’s go.”

Her companions followed alongside her, Garrus still on edge as he said, “Sidonis better be there, or I’m coming back to finish the job.”

They didn’t say much as they returned to their car, Garrus taking the driver’s seat and Rhea shotgun while Tali stayed quiet in the backseat. Rhea drummed her fingers against her knee as they flew across the Citadel, finally coming to a landing and parking. Rhea glanced over at her friend. Garrus was the first to speak. 

“Harkin’s a bloody menace,” he griped. “We shouldn’t have just let him go, he deserved to be punished.”

Rhea looked him over. “Are you alright, Garrus? You were pretty hard on him.”

“You don’t think he deserved it?”

“It’s just not like you,” she said, looking away. 

There was a pause, neither of them looking at each other while Tali sat awkwardly in the back. Rhea continued to fidget until Garrus spoke again.

“What do you want from me, Shepard?” he pressed. “What would you do if someone betrayed you?”

She shook her head and scoffed. “Fuck if I know. I wouldn’t let it change me, though.”

“I would have said the same thing before it happened to me,” he said. 

“It’s not too late,” she said, a vain attempt at trying to change her friend’s mind. She cared about him too much for him to do this to himself. “You don’t have to do this.”

Garrus started to get frustrated at this. “Who’s going to bring Sidonis to justice if I don’t? Nobody else knows what he’s done. Nobody else cares. I don’t see any other options.”

Rhea stopped fidgeting, clenching her hands into tight fists to keep herself from moving. “Then let me talk to him.”

He shook his head at this. “Talk all you want, it’s not going to change my mind. I don’t care what his reasons were. He screwed us and he deserves to die.”

“Do you honestly believe that?”

“I’m surprised to hear you of all people say that,” he said.  

Rhea opened her mouth to speak, only fractions of words coming out as she stammered because he was right. She was being a hypocrite, but that still didn’t mean it was right. She sighed, looking away. “This isn’t you.” 

Garrus let out a short laugh. “Really? I’ve always hated injustice. The thought that Sidonis could get away with this? Why should he go on living when ten good men lie in unmarked graves?” There was a brief pause, and then, “I’m sorry, Shepard. Words aren’t going to solve this problem.”

She shifted in her seat, letting out a little huff. “Alright.”

“I need to set up,” he declared, looking beyond the landing. “I can get a clear shot from over there.” 

Rhea looked over to where he was gesturing and nodded. “Alright. What do you need me to do?”

“Keep him talking and stay out of my way,” he said easily. “Give me a signal so I know you’re ready, and I’ll take the shot. You’d better go. He’ll be here soon.”

Garrus opened the top and stepped out of the car, Tali taking his place since neither of them trusted Rhea’s driving abilities after having been in a Mako with her before. 

The two girls were quiet for a moment. Rhea checked her comm channel and made sure that Garrus wouldn’t be able to hear her. 

“What do you think about this, Tali?” she asked.

The quarian glanced at her, then turned back and sighed. “I don’t know what I think. Garrus seems very sure that this is the only way.”

Rhea shook her head. “I refuse to believe that. I don’t… I don’t want him turning into something he’s not. I care about him too much for that.”

“Is that so?” Her tone had a bit more teasing in it than Rhea would have liked.

“Stow it. I just… He’s better than this, I know it,” she thought out loud.

Tali smiled beneath her mask. “I know you do.” 

The car came to a stop on another landing and the two stepped out. Tali followed close behind as Rhea opened her channel again. 

“Shepard, do you hear me?” Garrus' voice asked through the line. 

“Loud and clear,” she said, looking over at Tali to make sure she was there. 

The two girls started into the plaza, folks passing by them and going about their daily lives. Across the way was an anxious looking turian that she assumed was Garrus’ target. Rhea sometimes wished she knew more turians, if only so she could learn to decode their body language. 

“There he is,” Garrus said through the line. “Wave him over.”

Rhea made eye contact with the jittery turian, beckoning him over. As with all turians, he nearly towered over her. His anxiety had given him a bit of a slouch, however. 

“Let’s get this over with,” Sidonis said. 

“You’re in my shot, move to the side,” Garrus said. 

Rhea narrowed her eyes at nothing before looking up at him, consciously staying in the way now. “Listen, Sidonis. I want to help you.”

His eyes widened at the sound of his name and he looked around, just waiting to be recognized. “Don’t ever say that name aloud.”

She made herself as big as possible, wishing she were taller. “Look. I’m a friend of Garrus'. He wants you dead, but I’m hoping that’s not necessary.”

“Garrus?” Sidonis looked shocked. “Is this some kind of a joke?”

“Dammit, Shepard!” Garrus was irritated now. Rhea narrowed her eyes again, wishing he was there for her to glare at. “If he moves, I’m taking the shot!”

Sidonis noticed the distracted look in her eyes. “You’re not kidding, are you?” She looked back up at him, shaking her head. He got even more nervous at that, mandibles fluttering. “Screw this, I’m not sticking around to find out.”

Rhea latched onto Sidonis' wrist. “Don’t move,” she snapped.

“Get off me!” he cried out. 

She jerked his arm down so that he was a bit closer to her level before she hissed, “I am the only thing standing between you and a hole in the head. I suggest you don’t move.”

“Fuck,” the turian swore, looking down and getting antsy. “Look, I didn’t want to do it, but I didn’t have a choice.”

Garrus' voice came through the line again, “Everyone has a choice.”

“They got to me, said they’d kill me if I didn’t help. What was I supposed to do?”

“Let me take the shot, Shepard! He’s a damn coward!”

She narrowed her eyes at Sidonis, not giving up that easily. “So that’s it? You were just trying to save yourself?”

Sidonis grew more melancholy and moved to the railing in the center of the square. Rhea stayed on his side, keeping herself in Garrus' way, as though daring him to take the shot. Did he want this so badly that'd he'd be willing to shoot her too?

He might hate her for it, but she needed to at least hear the other half of this story. 

“I know what I did,” he said, his voice low and depressed as he leaned against the railing and making it easier for Rhea to stay in the way. “I know they died because of me, and I have to live with that. I wake up every night… sick and sweating. Their faces staring at me, accusing me…” He paused, giving Rhea enough time to notice that Garrus was still silent. “I’m already a dead man. I don’t sleep. Food has no taste. Some days I just want it to be over.”

“Just give me the chance,” came the voice over her comm.

Rhea shook her head, looking toward Garrus' perch in hopes that she could face him through the scope as she spoke, “You don’t need to kill him, Garrus. He’s already paying for his crime.” 

“He still has his life.”

“This isn’t living, Garrus. There’s no spirit in him, he's already a dead man.” She glanced behind her at the shell of a man walking down the walkway. She felt her stomach twist up at the flash of memory that blurred her vision for a moment. “There’s nothing left of him for you to kill.” 

Garrus was quiet, and for a moment Rhea worried that she’d put him off with her spirituality, but then he spoke. “My men… they deserved better than this.”

Sidonis was still quiet as he spoke again. “Tell Garrus… I guess there’s nothing I can really say that’ll make things better.”

The line was quiet again before Rhea heard a sigh. “Just… go. Tell him to go.”

The relief that she felt at hearing that wasn’t comparable to anything she’d felt before. She kept the act up, however. “He’s giving you a second chance, Sidonis,” she said carefully. “Don’t waste this.”

“I’ll try, Garrus,” Sidonis said, louder so that her companion could hear him well over her comm. “I’ll make it up to you, somehow.” His shining eyes looked down at her and he lowered his voice again. “Thank you. For talking to him.”

She cracked a slight smile for him, nodding her head before the two parted ways. Part of her expected Garrus to take the shot once she was out of the way, but the lack of commotion told her that Sidonis was still alive. He’d been a good man, once, but he’d made a mistake. One he was paying for and would continue to pay for the rest of his existence. There certainly were worse things than death. She knew that much from experience.

She stepped back over to Tali, closing the comm channel again. “Come on,” she said. “We should get him down from up there.”

Tali nodded, following. “Do you think that it will be alright?”

“Eventually, I hope. I wouldn't doubt that he's mad at me, but..."

Nodding her understanding, Tali took the lead back to the car.  The two rode up in silence, Rhea stepping out to meet Garrus once they were stopped. 

“I know you want to talk about this, but I don’t,” he began. “Not yet.”

She fidgeted with her hands for a second before dropping them. “I know that this didn’t really go the way that you planned, and I’m sorry. But I think this is for the best.”

“I’m not so sure,” Garrus said, pacing a bit. 

“Give it some time,” she said, looking up at him. His visor was the only thing she could really see in the darkness of the corner. 

He still seemed somewhat irritated, but hiding behind the irritation was a bit of relief. He wasn’t so tense anymore. “Yeah,” he said, a bit of sadness coloring his words. “Maybe that’ll be enough. I want to know that I did the right thing, not just for me. My men… they deserve to be avenged, but when Sidonis was in my sights I just couldn’t do it.”

Rhea bit at her lip for a brief second before saying, “The lines between good and evil blur when we’re looking at people we know. If you’d killed him it would have just been another death.”

“Yeah,” Garrus agreed, albeit reluctantly. He seemed to think for a second before adding softly, “Yeah, there was still good in him. I could see it.” He seemed a bit melancholy as he went on. “It’s so much easier to see the world as black and white. Grey…? I don’t know what to do with grey.”

“Just trust yourself,” Rhea said. “Your heart, instincts or whatever.”

He shook his head, a bit of the previous tension returning. “My instincts are what got me into this mess.”

She reached out and took hold of his hand, looking up at him and saying, “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Garrus.”

He was quiet for a second, thinking for a moment before he gave her hand a squeeze. Again she found herself wondering just when they’d become so comfortable and physical with each other, but the way his face twitched in a slight smile distracted her. “Thanks, Shepard,” he said carefully. “For everything.”

Rhea smiled. “Any time, Garrus.”

Their gazes on each other seemed to linger a little too long, the two of them just looking at each other until Tali opened up the car and hollered at them. 

“Let’s get out of here,” Garrus said, refocusing and letting Rhea’s hand drop. “I need some distance from this place.”

She nodded, following close behind. “I’m on your six.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the hardest decisions in Mass Effect I've ever made is the choice between killing and not killing Sidonis, even two years later. My first instinct for Rhea was that she'd let Garrus take the shot, but after a lot of delegation with myself and figuring out Rhea's character, ultimately I realized that she couldn't. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed, if you're so inclined please leave a comment! I love getting feedback. Until next time <3


	8. Part 1 - Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life isn't a novel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day because this one is so short but didn't feel right going with the last.

* * *

 

The three of them went their separate ways once back on the _Normandy,_ Tali wanting to take care of some maintenance and Garrus going back to his usual place on the crew deck while Rhea went upstairs to grab a quick shower and her marbles so that she could do some meditation with Samara after her usual evening chat with Thane. She wanted a distraction from the day’s events.

Despite the soft moment that they had shared, Rhea couldn’t help but feel as though Garrus was mad at her for not letting him shoot his former teammate. But she couldn’t let him do that and she hoped that he knew that.

She was back in her casual outfit that consisted of a black tank top, cloth pants, and boots. Her hair was back up in a half-assed bun, the thick black strands falling around her face as she sat by her asari companion. The attempts at clearing her mind were just that. Attempts. No matter how hard she focused on the positioning and rotation of the three marbles she’d been able to control, she just couldn’t do it now. She caught the glass orbs in her hands, clutching them to her chest as she lied back on the floor, staring up at the ceiling.

“Is something troubling you?” Samara asked, not looking away from the window for even a second.

Rhea’s lips quirked upwards into a slight smile. “I’ll be fine, but thank you.”

Samara nodded, returning to her silent state. Rhea kept her body quiet while her mind was loud.

The gears in her head had been turning since she’d gotten back from the Citadel. She’d dropped off the higher quality rations with the cook, noticing Garrus from the corner of her eye as he went into the battery with the door closing behind him. Ever since, thoughts pelted her like bullets.

Garrus was her best friend. She trusted him with her life and he trusted her too. But where did that leave them? The closeness between them had grown and she wasn’t sure what to do about it. She wasn’t even sure what she felt, but she knew that she was most comfortable when with him. When they were fighting together, with Rhea on the front lines and Garrus backing her up while she made sure nothing could get close to him. When they were having a meal together in the mess, when they were just talking, or even when they were working in comfortable silence in the battery. She was just so at peace with him. Was it worth letting feelings get in the way?

Maybe. She wasn’t used to being the first with such feelings. When it was Kaidan it seemed so simple. He’d had a thing for her since they’d started working together and Rhea indulged in the affection, let herself get close to him. But now she was finding herself in the most cliche position possible: falling for her best friend. She’d read more than enough romance novels and comics to know that this could go in one of three directions.

First, she could just pretend that nothing was going on and carry on with the rest of her life.

Second, she could tell him and he’d reject her.

And third, the direction that those novels tended to go with, she’d tell him and find that he had feelings for her too. But life wasn't a novel.

Rhea bit at her lips as she stood up, gathering her marbles back into the bag. “I should go,” she said to Samara, starting for the door before the asari had a chance to bid her own farewell.

She snatched a ration bar before heading to the elevator, chewing pensively as she rode up to her cabin. After making sure her fish and hamster had food she kicked off her boots, flopping down on her bed.

Of all the people in the galaxy for her to have a crush of all things on, it was Garrus. An endearing turian with a weird sense of humor and a mild obsession with calibrating the guns of her ship had her feeling like she was a teenager on Arcturus again.

Maybe this was what Tali was referring to. The quarian always did seem to know Rhea better than she knew herself. She was like the irritating yet lovable sister that Rhea had never had before. But then did that mean that Garrus had feelings for her, too? Were the lingering looks and touches something more? Or was that just Garrus being a good friend?

“Fuck me,” she grumbled, throwing an arm over her face and closing her eyes tightly, almost willing the thoughts to leave.

She’d just wait it out, for now. See if things got easier or if they just got worse.

_Give it some time. Maybe that’ll be enough._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Please consider leaving a comment, I love receiving feedback. Until next time <3


	9. Part 1 - Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhea finds the time to finally catch up with her mother.

* * *

 

The next day was a bit of calm that Rhea didn’t think she’d ever experience again. There were no life threatening emergencies, no colonies being abducted by modified Protheans, no mercenaries that needed fighting, no random errands that Cerberus wanted her to run. Just a day of pure peace. 

She started the morning by making herself a cup of real coffee, a special treat that she’d not had since before receiving her N7 designation. Synthetic coffee powder was a common drink onboard starships, but Rhea had gone out of her way for the bag of real beans that were hers alone.

Since they were still docked at the Citadel, Rhea decided to go ahead and make her way to the station alone. She didn’t bother with armor or weapons, though considering how many people wanted her dead it may not have been the best idea. But she always had her biotics. She figured she didn’t need a whole lot when just going to call her mother. 

She waited for the vid-call to go through, though she half expected it to go straight to a message saying that she was unavailable. Her mother was always so busy. Instead she was pleasantly surprised to see her mom’s face on the screen. 

“ _ Rhea Sofia Shepard, _ ” Hannah Shepard said sternly, her dark brown eyes meeting her daughter's through the screen. Rhea cringed at the sound of her full name, feeling like a child again. That was something she hadn’t heard in over twelve years.

“I know, mom,” she apologized. “I would have called you sooner, but my hands have been a bit tied lately.”

“ _ I gathered, _ ” she said. “ _ I assume that’s why you’re contacting me from a random terminal on the Citadel. _ ”

Rhea was sheepish as she nodded. “Yeah. I’ll explain everything to you when I’m able, but I just wanted to see you for now. It’s been too long.”

“ _ That’s an understatement, sweetie, _ ” Hannah said. “ _ More than two years without even an email. I know that you’ve got your own life, but I do like to make sure that you’re okay. _ ”

She smiled at this. “I know. And I really appreciate that.”

“ _ Well, enough being mad. How’s it going? I’ve heard some pretty scary rumors about you floating around the channels. Mainly involving Cerberus. _ ”

Rhea bit at her lip and looked down. “Well, I… um. They’re only mostly rumors.”

“ _ Mostly? Rhea, what are you talking about? _ ”

“Look mom, you know me,” she said, hoping she wouldn’t have a repeat of the incident with Kaidan with her own mother. Her voice wavered with desperation as she went on, fidgeting with her hands. “And I’m stuck between a rock and a really hard place right now, it’s why I’m calling from the Citadel of all places. You have to believe me.”

Her mother was silent for a moment. “ _ Oh Reeses _ ,” she said finally, using the old pet name for her daughter to show her concern and affection. “ _ I trust you to do the right thing. Which is why I’ll refrain from asking too many questions. _ ”

Rhea smirked. “Thanks, mom.” She changed the topic quickly. “Enough about rumors, I wanna know how you’re doing. How’s dad?”

Hannah waved it off. “ _ Oh, he’s busy as always. Lord knows what Markus is up to these days, I haven’t spoken to him in ages. But if Admiral Hackett thinks it’s important, then who am I to say otherwise. _ ”

“The Admiral is interested in dad’s work?” That was interesting. Her father was a xenoarchaeologist collaborating with the Alliance, his job similar to Liara’s old work but more generalized.

“ _ Mhm. He’s been on Mars doing some work in the Archives. Why he’s there, I have no idea. But it sounds important. _ ”

“I heard on the news that you turned down a promotion to Admiral,” Rhea said. “What’d you do that for?”

“ _ Ugh, the last thing I need at my age is a desk job. _ ”

“Mom, fifty-eight is not that old.”

Her mom laughed at this. “ _ Maybe not these days, but when my parents were growing up you were lucky to make it to a hundred. Besides, I like captaining a ship. Keeps me on my toes. _ ”

Rhea chuckled. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

The two continued to play catch-up for a little while longer, with Rhea omitting certain details like the specifics of her relationship with Cerberus and her death. Hannah had taken over command of a different dreadnaught since she died, though things had been relatively calm since Saren’s attack on the Citadel. Aside from the abductions of entire human colonies. The Alliance still hadn’t done anything about that, which only reassured Rhea that her work was worth the potential court martialing when she was done. 

Eventually her mother had to return to her duties, and Rhea let her. The two bid farewell and Rhea hung up the call, knowing that it was possible it could be the last one they ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Short chapter, but meaningful all the same. Please consider leaving a comment, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. Until next time, I hope you have a good day!


	10. Part 1 - Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus isn't mad at her.

* * *

 

The end felt as though it was only growing closer as Rhea put her new fish into the tank. She pushed the button that released their food and started back down to the mess hall, hungry as always. 

She’d spent some time on the Citadel just wandering aimlessly before returning home to her ship, coming back during the start of the night cycle. She looked around the mess at the ship’s workers who were all lined up by the kitchen, the cook having had made a decent meal for the crew. Rhea bypassed the small crowd and grabbed a couple standard ration boxes, one for her and one for Garrus. She smiled at her human engineers before heading towards the battery. 

Rhea knocked on the door, waiting patiently until it opened. Garrus stood at his station as always, his back to the console as he met her gaze. 

“Hey there, Shepard,” he said. His mood seemed to have lifted significantly since she’d last seen him, a brightness to his eyes that made Rhea’s chest feel light. 

_ Stop that,  _ she scolded mentally.

“Hey,” she greeted, smiling up at him. “I wasn’t sure if you’d gotten something to eat or not. Figured I’d bring something over just in case.”

She recognized the way his mandibles flared slightly as a smile and she couldn’t help but feel her heartbeat pick up its pace. 

“Thanks,” he said, taking the rations and setting the box on his console. 

“I was afraid you'd be mad and wouldn't want to see me after everything that happened the other day,” she admitted, shifting on her feet.

He looked surprised at that, his face plates shifting slightly. “I'm not mad,” he assured her. “Before I was frustrated, but then I gave it some thought. You were right.”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” he said, then motioned for her to come inside the cabin. “I want to thank you for your help with Sidonis. Whatever happens with the Collectors, or the Reapers, or whoever else comes after us, I know you’ll get the job done.”

Rhea scoffed as she took a seat at her usual spot, the crate still against the wall. The door to the battery closed as she moved out of its way, Garrus turning a little to keep facing her. “You honestly think that we’ll find something worse than Collectors or Reapers?”

He shrugged a bit. “I like to expect the worst. There’s a small chance I’ll be pleasantly surprised.”

She let out a short laugh, shaking her head and smirking at him. “I don't know what I'd do without you, Vakarian.”

His pleasant mood kept up as he held her gaze. “I'm sure you’d do just as well. Not as stylishly, of course.” 

Rhea snorted a laugh, bringing her hand up to her mouth to cover her smile. She sighed, shaking her head as she started to eat her bland dinner. “It feels like we’re reaching the end, doesn’t it?”

Garrus nodded, opening up his own box of rations and starting to eat. “It’s weird getting ready for a suicide mission on a human ship. Your people don’t prepare for high risk operations the way that turians do.”

“I thought that you’d be used to high risk operations on human ships,” she teased. “I mean, that whole thing with Saren and Ilos on our first big mission together?”

“Sure, but that was quick,” Garrus argued. “We raced out, landed, blew up some geth, and saved the galaxy. Now we’ve got Miranda and Cerberus and that AI all telling us what we’re up against. I think I prefered blind optimism.”

She chewed pensively on the tongs of her fork as she thought. After a moment she looked up at him. “Be straight with me, Garrus. What do you think our odds are on this one?”

He smirked. “Honestly? The Collectors killed you once and all that did is piss you off, I can’t imagine they’ll stop you this time.”

Rhea rolled her eyes at this, throwing her fork at him and getting it to land in his cowl. He handed it back to her as she said, “Come on, Garrus. I mean it.”

The brightness faded a little bit. “An unmapped area, advanced technology, and the Collectors? We’re going to lose people, no way around that. Not a happy analysis, I know. Don’t worry, I won’t spread it around. And I’m with you regardless.”

That light feeling came back as she looked at him, still feeling a bit guilty when her gaze shifted to the still healing scars on his face. “I really appreciate that, Garrus. I’m happy that you’re here.”

“I am too,” he said.

“You don’t regret leaving C-Sec or the turian military?” she asked.

“Not for a minute,” he confessed. His eyes scanned her face before meeting and holding her gaze. “When it comes down to it, Shepard, I don’t think I’m a very good turian.”

Her brows furrowed. “What do you mean by that?”

“A good turian hears a bad order, he follows it,” Garrus explained. “He might complain, but he knows his place. I just don’t see the point in staying quiet and polite. Not when the galaxy is at stake.”

“You save the galaxy often then?” she joked, though it came across more flirty than she had intended. 

Garrus just chuckled, however, either not understanding her joke or understanding too well, because his response was, “Only when I’m with you, Shepard.”

Whether it was intended to be flirtatious or not, Rhea couldn’t tell. Regardless, her face had gotten warm and her heart seemed to skip a beat. She reached for her water bottle, taking a swig to try and play it off. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed his staring at her, concern lining his features. She felt a little pride at being able to recognize the subtleties in his expressions. 

“So, uh,” she started, trying to change the direction of the conversation. “You said that humans prepare for high risk missions differently? How do turian crews get ready for things like this?”

“With violence, usually,” he said casually. Rhea lifted a brow at this, watching him expectantly as he continued, “Turians have more operational discipline than your Alliance, but fewer personal restrictions. Our commanders run us tight, but they know we need to blow off steam. Turian ships have training rooms for exercise, combat sims, even full contact sparring. Whatever helps people work off stress.”

Rhea shook her head. “Not that I disapprove, but turian ships actually have crew members fighting each other before a mission?”

“It’s supervised, of course,” Garrus assured her. Rhea rolled her eyes, still smirking as she kept eating and listening. “No one’s going to risk an injury that interferes with the mission, and it’s a good way to settle grudges amicably.”

“Is that so,” she thought out loud. 

He smiled at her. “I remember right before one mission, we were about to hit a batarian pirate squad. Very risky. This recon scout and I were at each other’s throats, nerves mostly. She suggested we settle it in the ring.”

“Oh yeah?” Rhea said, wondering what turians looked like when fighting hand-to-hand. “Did she kick your ass?”

Garrus scoffed, a little proud as he went on. “Actually, she and I were the top ranked hand-to-hand specialists on the ship. I had reach, but she had flexibility.” He paced a bit as he relayed the story, “It was brutal. After nine rounds the judge finally called it a draw. There were a lot of unhappy betters in the training room. We, ah, ended up holding a tiebreaker in her quarters. I had reach, but she had flexibility. More than one way to work off stress, I guess.”

Rhea chose the wrong time to get a drink, because she choked on her water while laughing at the phrasing of that sentence. She coughed as she collected her bearings, finally squeaking out, “Oh my god.”

“Sorry, Shepard,” he apologized, looking a little embarrassed himself now. “Didn’t mean to…”

“No no,” she assured him, giving her hair a push back behind her shoulders as she continued to pull herself together. “It’s fine, I promise, my water just went down the wrong pipe, that’s all.”

He nodded, relaxing a little bit and going to his own dinner. The two ate in silence for a bit, Rhea’s thoughts coming back to her and Garrus’ words echoing in her mind.

_ Expect the worst. There’s a small chance you’ll be pleasantly surprised.  _

She stared at her dinner before glancing up at him and quickly turning away. _ If these are your last days, what are you going to regret more? That you were rejected, or that you never even took the chance? _

“Hey,” she started, not looking directly at him for a moment. Only he could turn the usually loud and brash Vanguard into a quiet mess. “What if we tried to work off stress together?”

Garrus looked down at her, suddenly tense as his mandibles fluttered nervously for a second. “I, uh, didn’t think you’d feel like sparring, Commander.”

She refrained from the desire to wince at his use of her title, standing up and meeting his gaze with a newfound confidence instead. “As much fun as it would be to knock down someone half a meter taller than me, that’s not exactly what I meant,” she said. “I was thinking we could... skip to the tie breaker.”

There was a moment of silence as the gears in Garrus’ head turned, her meaning finally dawning on him as his blue eyes went wide. “Oh! I didn’t…” He trailed off a little, looking her up and down, letting out a thoughtful hum. “Never knew you had a weakness for men with scars.”

Rhea bit at her lip as her gaze traveled to the side of his face, smiling at the scars now rather than feeling guilty.

“Well,” he started. “Why the hell not?”

Her eyes went wide at this. “Really?”

He smiled at her. “Shepard, there’s nobody in this galaxy I respect more than you. If we can figure out a way to make it work, then yeah. Definitely.”

She grinned at this, then bit at her lips so that she didn’t seem overeager. To say that she was pleasantly surprised would be an understatement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! If you're so inclined, please consider leaving a comment. I love constructive criticism. Until next time <3


	11. Part 1 - Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not all scars leave visible marks.

* * *

 

All things considered, helping her remaining teammates was a breeze. Her young krogan feeling more bloodthirsty than usual was easy enough, and Mordin requesting assistance to tie up a loose end was fine with her. 

Conveniently enough, both problems could be remedied with the help of an old friend. 

She and Urdnot Wrex had been good companions on the original  _ Normandy,  _ with Rhea’s personality often resembling that of a krogan half the time. They had a mutual respect for each other and it was good to see him when they arrived on the krogan homeworld of Tuchanka.

The short human woman smiled brightly at the sight of the old krogan, her friend coming to meet her when he saw her. Krogan smiles were such goofy things and seeing Wrex do so only brightened her mood. They took care of Mordin’s problem first, Rhea bringing Garrus along for the ride. 

Mordin’s work with the salarian STG was one of the few things she didn't like about him. She usually got along well with him, happily discussing work on his experiments and listening to him sing. But Rhea fiercely opposed the genophage, and Mordin had been on a team that sought to modify and continue the gentle genocide of the krogan. The man they were looking for had been on that team and been taken by Blood Pack mercenaries who wanted to cure the genophage.

Rhea approved of the desire, but it required her and her team to fight through a krogan hospital. 

“That’s unfortunate,” Garrus said, always one to supply commentary. “Hospitals aren’t much fun to fight through.”

The Vanguard furrowed her brows at this comment as they walked inside. “What is fun to fight through?”

Garrus seemed more than pleased to answer this. “Gardens, electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they’re classy.”

“Don’t think I’ve ever been inside an antique store before,” she said. 

The playful banter was cut short as they stumbled upon the bodies that were the result of horrible experiments. A dead human man was found just inside the hospital, giving them a taste of what was to be found further in. 

On the other side of the next door, a krogan stepped forth declaring himself the speaker for a rival clan of krogan. Like so many of the enemies that Rhea had faced, he was prone to monologuing. Tired of hearing the same thing over and over, she drew her pistol, shooting the gas tank that was conveniently underneath the landing the krogan was ranting from. Another shot was all it took to ignite the gas leaking from the tank, releasing an explosion that made quick work of the cliche krogan. 

The smell of death and gas mixed with antiseptic burned the inside of Rhea’s nose as they carried on through the hospital. They fought through countless Blood Pack krogan along the way, a guilt eating at Rhea for this. The krogan were a dying species as it was. That they flung themselves into the line of fire was something she wished didn’t happen. But they shot at her, which meant she had to shoot back.

Seeing the bodies of willing volunteers broke Rhea’s heart, and she couldn’t help but snap at Mordin. He was responsible for the continuation of this madness, and as they talked it seemed as though this fact had the potential of getting through the salarian’s thick skull. 

She slammed a footsoldier into the ground with her biotics, killing him with the shock before he could start to regenerate. She eyed the krogan’s battered and bloodied body as she walked past it, turning her gaze forward and ignoring the carnage. 

Rhea had more luck as she came across another Krogan volunteer, this one alive. He was Urdnot’s missing scout, weak from the tests that had been done on his body. She went into Commander Mode, talking sense back into him and getting him back on his feet with words. 

“There’s no pep talk like a military pep talk,” Garrus said from behind as they watched the scout escape.

She kept her gaze forward, but she let herself smirk at this. “I learned from the best,” she said, thinking of her mother. 

Again they fought through krogan and vorcha, most of them falling prey to her biotics and shotgun. She stayed on the frontlines so as to make herself a wall, keeping both Mordin and Garrus behind her. The Weyrloc chief was far easier to take down than she had anticipated, but it didn’t make her feel any better. 

Fortunately, Mordin’s lost former colleague was just on the other side of the door. 

Maelon was standing at a console, going over data it seemed, when Rhea’s team found him.

Though she approved of the desire, she couldn’t approve of the horrific experiments that had been done on the test subjects. The volunteers had been willing, but those who weren’t… And yet she couldn’t let Mordin kill him. After all that had happened, after all the death that already surrounded them, adding another body to the pile was the last thing that they needed. She convinced Mordin to let him go, but there was still a matter of the data. 

Despite the terrible experiments, there was still potential in keeping the data. Maelon had made great strides towards actually creating a cure. She couldn’t help but feel as though it would be valuable someday. They took the data, erasing the local copy before heading back home. 

She always found it unnerving how easily salarians could move on. The discussion she had with Mordin was basic, the scientist just going back to work as usual. 

Rhea left him for the mess hall, wanting to get something to eat before they returned to Tuchanka. She still had energy, the fight to Maelon easier than she’d been expecting. A short recharge was all that she needed to be ready to get back to assisting her teammates. Garrus had already agreed to come back with her in their quest to control Rhea’s krogan. 

Grunt remained surprisingly calm for the trip down to the planet’s surface. When they got down to Urdnot grounds, the young krogan was unimpressed, even scoffing at the sight. 

Like with Mordin’s problem, Wrex was the one to go to with this. He seemed more than happy to assist Rhea with her krogan teammate, especially since it meant he was allowed to stop bickering with a krogan from another clan. 

Wrex looked down at Grunt. “Where are you from, whelp?” he asked as he came down from his seat, acting almost as though her teammate were a child. “Was your clan destroyed before you could learn what is expected of you?”

“I have no clan,” the young krogan simply said. “I was tank-bred by Warlord Okeer, my line distilled from Kredak, Moro, Shiagur-...”

The krogan that Wrex had been bickering with before, Uvenk if Rhea had heard correctly, stepped in. “You recite warlords, but you are the offspring of a syringe.”

Rhea’s eyes narrowed at Uvenk, wanting to smack him in the face with her shotgun for that, particularly protective of her krogan. Grunt, however, didn’t pay any mind to the insult. 

“I am pure krogan,” he said. “You should be in awe.”

Wrex eyed Grunt, looking him up and down as he spoke, “Okeer is a very old name. A very hated name.”

Grunt continued to look up at Wrex as he said, “He is dead.”

Her old friend cracked a smile at this. “Of course. You’re with Shepard. How could he be alive?”

Rhea rolled her eyes at this before refocusing on the task at hand. “Does that name mean anything to you, Wrex?”

“A vicious warlord responsible for many deaths,” he elaborated, turning back towards Grunt and saying, “Who apparently toyed with genetics. A clone undertaking the Rite…”

Uvenk snapped at this. “You are considering it!? Tank bred allowed status as an adult? This is too far!”

“There’s nothing wrong with him,” Wrex justified. “He’s becoming a full adult.”

“Adolescence?” Garrus looked from Grunt to Wrex while Rhea furrowed her brows at him. “Can’t we just take him to Omega and buy him a few dances?”

Rhea snorted a laugh at this, biting her tongue as Wrex went on to say, “I don’t care what aliens call it. Krogan undergo the Rite of Passage.”

Uvenk was less than pleased about this. “Too far, Wrex! Your clan may rule, but this thing is not krogan!”

The four of them watched as he stormed off. “Idiot,” Wrex grumbled, then turned to Grunt again. “So, Grunt? Do you wish to stand with Urdnot?”

She was surprised by this. “You’d let a tank-bred krogan join Clan Urdnot?”

Wrex nodded. “Only because he’s with you. After all, you and I killed thousands like him. Not quite as big, but many. Clan Urdnot is strong, and the others will do what I say. They see the benefit of my vision.”

“Well, it’s not my call,” Rhea said. “This is his choice.”

They all looked to the tank-bred expectedly, watching as the gears in his head turned before he finally said, “It is in my blood. It is what I am for.”

Rhea smiled at him while Wrex said, “Good boy. Speak with the shaman. He’s over on the second level. Give him a good show, and he’ll set you on the path.” The old krogan made his way back up to his seat. “You too, Shepard. How many times have you stepped in a mess for your crew, hmm?”

“More than I can count,” she said. 

She and her team started through the camp and finally she took some time to actually see her surroundings. They seemed to be on the lowest level of a torn down building, perhaps some kind of bunker. Everything on Tuchanka had been destroyed by the krogan when they fought amongst each other centuries ago. It was fascinating to see how resilient they were, how they could thrive in such hostile conditions. Despite being surrounded by rubble, there was far more creation around her than she would have ever expected. 

But it wasn’t the time to turn into a xenoanthropologist just then. They had work to do. 

Uvenk had already found the shaman by the time Rhea had reached him, the younger krogan antagonising his elder about Grunt. The shaman caught sight of the tank-bred and stepped closer, giving his own inspection. 

“This is the tank-bred? It is very life-like.” Rhea’s brows furrowed as he sniffed her teammate. “Smells correct as well. Your protests ring hollow, Uvenk.”

She narrowed her eyes at the troublesome krogan. “I don’t care what this idiot says, Grunt has the right to be here.”

The shaman seemed to approve of Rhea. “There’s some fire! And from an alien! Oh, the shame this heaps on those who whine like pups.”

Uvenk was still not pleased. “If this must stand on ritual, then I invoke a denial! My krantt stands against him! He has no one!”

She remembered from her time on Omega what a krantt was. She and her team had acted as one for the Patriarch, Aria T’Loak’s krogan pet. She could be that just as easily, if not easier, for Grunt. Rhea stepped closer, still frustrated with him as she clenched her itching fists and stood up for her teammate. “Grunt will strengthen Clan Urdnot. Name our target, and it will die.”

The shaman again seemed impressed. “Spoken well!” he approved. “Most aliens, and some krogan, do not understand our ways. I believe this human does.”

Uvenk protested again. “Aliens don’t know strength! My followers are true krogan. Everything about Grunt is a lie!”

The itching in her hands subsided as in a split second Rhea flexed her fingers, making a thin biotic shield around her as she butted heads with Uvenk in true krogan fashion. The krogan stumbled backwards at this, shocked. 

He glared at her as he gathered his bearings, the biotic energy around Rhea dissipating as quickly as it came. “You- you dare...!?”

Uvenk was cut off as the shaman laughed heartily. “I like this human!” he declared. “She understands!”

Rhea rubbed at her forehead a bit, the shield having only mostly kept her protected from Uvenk’s plated skull. The younger krogan stormed off yet again with lackeys in tow, leaving Rhea again with the desire to smack him with her shotgun. 

“You have provoked them. Reason enough for me to like you,” the shaman said. “They’re your problem now.”

“Is he going to cause any trouble?” Rhea asked, looking back as Uvenk and his followers disappeared down the shoddy stairwell. 

“He is forbidden to interfere,” was the shaman’s answer. “Will he? During the Rite of Passage you must be ready for anything, Shepard.”

“Then let’s do this.”

The shaman lead Rhea and her team to a krogan tank, the driver taking them to a makeshift arena. The shaman told of its history, how it was the last of the surface cities to fall during the Rebellions, and the Vanguard again found herself utterly fascinated.

At the heart of the wreckage was what the shaman called a Keystone. Rhea didn’t know just what activating it would bring, but as the elder had said, they had to be prepared for anything. 

Upon hitting the button, a voice came through speakers that relayed the story of the Fall, capturing Rhea’s attention so that she startled when the ground shook beneath her. 

Varren rushed into the arena’s ring, a beginning challenge it seemed. She gave Grunt plenty of space to let loose on the creatures, shooting her own fair share of them when they came for her and using her biotics a couple times on ones that came too close. Once that wave was taken care of they were ready for the next. Grunt was excited now, Rhea hitting the Keystone to signal the next wave. Again more history was given and she found herself distracted until the ground shook and more creatures came forth to be fought. 

It was like someone had given a child a bag full of candy, if that child happened to be a quarter ton krogan and that bag of candy was full of malicious creatures that he got to shoot. Grunt seemed to be having the time of his life, while Garrus was using his assault rifle in an attempt to deter the few creatures that made it past the krogan and Rhea. The Vanguard had to admit, she was enjoying herself. 

She sank a new round of thermal clips into her shotgun before she hit the Keystone again. The ground shook again, but this time in a way that felt horribly familiar. 

_ Oh shit. Please don’t…  _

The ground suddenly grew tentacles and a loud roar was heard. A roar that she’d heard far too many times before. Memories of her life flashed off and on in her mind, taking her into the past and then the present and the past again as she fought to retain control of her own mind. 

Rhea Shepard was not an easy woman to traumatize. She’d been through hell over and over, survived the Skyllian Blitz, nearly died far too many times, she’d finished the N7 program, actually died... But it was the mission that had given her that designation that really hit her. The faces of her squad as they were pulled beneath the ground to become food for monstrous creatures... She saw every one of those fifty soldiers go down, had desperately tried to save them, felt their fingers slip through her hands, to no avail. Gunshots and screams and those horrible roars that she could hear even when she returned to her ship and was patched up. And here she could hear it again. See their faces crying out… 

“Shepard!” 

She barely heard her name being called before she was pinned to the ground. The fall knocked the wind out of her and the present remained the present as she found herself staring into a set of familiar blue eyes that were hovering only a handful of centimeters away. She assessed the situation quickly as Garrus backed off of her, helping her sit against the short wall that provided little protection against the attacking thresher maw. From what she could tell, Garrus had just saved her ass from being burned away by maw acid.

“Shepard, can you hear me?” he asked, hands on her shoulders to keep her facing him. His blue eyes kept on her and brought her back to reality.

“Y-Yeah,” she said, gathering her bearings. “‘I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” he asked. 

Rhea nodded, quickly saying, “Yeah yeah, I’m good. I’m good. I-I can tune it out. I’m good.”  _ I hope. _

The look on his face told her that he didn’t believe her bullshit, and she wouldn't have either, but he wasn’t about to argue while there was a goddamned thresher maw attacking them. 

Grunt, for one, was more than happy to have a new and exciting target. Rhea was half tempted to just hide and let her krogan companion try to kill the thing, but it wouldn’t be that easy. 

She readjusted and pulled her trusty rocket launcher from her back, checking the power cells to ensure that she had a full charge. Whether or not it would even do any damage was a good question, but not one that she had time to answer right away. It took all of the focus that she could muster to move from cover spot to cover spot without needing Garrus to pin her down again. She kept her finger on the trigger, shooting often while Grunt continued firing with his own guns. Garrus stayed in cover as much as possible, firing high impact rounds as often as he could to try and bring the maw down. 

Eventually it worked. The thresher maw was dead and Grunt was more than pleased with this outcome. Rhea learned much later that they’d only needed to survive the encounter with the maw to complete the Rite; however, once the maw was dead she found that they now had company. 

Uvenk had returned, this time with a team of his own as backup. Now that Grunt had proved himself, he had decided he was worth keeping for his own clan. But he would have only the name and be nothing more than a trophy. 

As Rhea expected, Grunt rejected the offer. Uvenk and his men turned on them, allowing Rhea to do what she’d been wanting to do all day. 

Smack him in the face with her shotgun. 

She managed to get through his lackeys with ease, the high powered shotgun she’d gotten from the Collector ship working wonders against their armor and the incendiary rounds burned them so that they couldn’t regenerate quickly. 

Uvenk started to come for Rhea, the Vanguard countering his charge with one of her own. Mass effect energy enveloped her as she directed her body towards the krogan like a biotic wrecking ball. He staggered backward, falling as she shot him square in the chest several times. Yellow blood oozed out of him as he finally fell still. Rhea stepped back, wiping sweat from her brow before putting her shotgun in its place on the small of her back. 

Grunt seemed pleased with the outcome. “Uvenk is meat,” he said. “Let’s signal at the Keystone and get out of here, leave him to rot.”

“Sounds good to me,” Rhea said. 

The shaman arrived soon after, a couple from Urdnot with him. He seemed pleased, a smile on his lips. 

“Many survive, but it has been years since a thresher maw fell!” the shaman praised. Grunt knelt before him in respect, honored. “Your names shall live in glory.”

Rhea shuddered at the thought of the maw, though she quickly put it out of her mind. 

“You have passed the Rite of Passage, earning the honor of clan and name,” the shaman continued. “Grunt. You are Urdnot. You may now own property, join the army, and apply to serve under a battlemaster.”

“Shepard is my battlemaster,” Grunt said. Rhea felt a bit of pride in this, smiling brightly as he said, “She has no match.”

“Understood,” the shaman said, nodding to the human. “Congratulations, Urdnot Grunt.”

The shaman went on to give Grunt a gift. With the chaos having subsided, Rhea took the opportunity to ask about the history of the planet. It was endlessly fascinating, and he indulged her as they took the tank back to the camp. 

The team returned to the  _ Normandy  _ feeling a bit more at peace, a bit of pride in each of them over the success they’d had with the day’s events. 

As she always did after a long day, Rhea took a shower to wash off the sweat and dust that had formed a layer on her skin. She closed her eyes as she scratched her nails against her scalp, breathing in the steam and relaxing. Her fingers brushed against the base of her skull and she stopped, standing in the steam as she let her hands drop. 

Rhea opened her eyes and flexed her fingers, energy surging through her and into her hands. She stepped out of the stream and focused on the water, catching droplets in the mass effect field she created. A smile touched her lips before turning into a giddy grin. 

It had been a number of months since she’d awoken from her coma. She recalled how hard she had struggled to regain control over her biotic abilities. Though it had taken time, it seemed as though she was finally able to do all the things she’d been capable of before. 

She released the field and let the water fall, the collection of drops splashing against her pale legs when they hit the linoleum. 

Another part of her past life recovered. It was a good feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Please consider leaving a comment, I love feedback in all its forms. Until next time <3


	12. Part 1 - Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's okay to feel weak.

* * *

 

Rhea had to have known that it was only a matter of time before Garrus asked her about what had happened. It wasn’t like her to completely space out during a fight. Commander Shepard was an unstoppable force to the rest of the galaxy. Rhea, on the other hand, was just another human soldier who had more experience with things than she liked to admit. 

She went down to the mess hall for dinner late the evening that she got back from Tuchanka. Most of the crew was already asleep, the night shift workers already at their stations. Even Joker had gone to sleep by now, reluctantly leaving EDI in charge of handling the ship for the night. 

She was crouched behind the island, her face in the fridge, when a voice from behind said, “Shepard.”

Rhea froze. She knew that voice better than anyone else’s, and it was why she cringed when she heard it. Reaching for one of the beers that she had stashed in the very back, she closed the fridge and rose slowly. “Garrus.”

Her turian companion was standing on the other side of the island, in armor as always and looking down at her. His gaze seemed to shift between her and the drink in her hand. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she said, already knowing where he was wanting to take the conversation. She twisted the top off of the drink and took a swig. It wasn’t very good beer, but it was cold and it was something other than water. 

“That’s what you tell your men to keep up morale,” he said. “I’m not one of your men. I’m your friend.”

“Best friend,” she corrected without thinking. 

“Exactly. So I don’t want the crap version.” He leaned on the island, bringing him a little closer to Rhea’s height, but only a little. “What happened back there? You went catatonic and after you weren’t all there.”

She cringed and drank another swallow, looking away. “And here I thought everyone in Citadel space knew my service history... You want the long version or the short version?”

“Which one is the truth?” Garrus asked. 

Rhea cracked a smile at this. “Short version first, then. Thanks to a mission gone wrong…” She counted mentally and with her fingers for a moment to help account for the two missing years, then said, “Nearly eight years ago, I have a pretty bad relationship with thresher maws.”

“You’re full of shit.” Rhea chuckled at this as she watched him fold his hands together. “What’s the long version?”

She was quiet for a moment as she drank from the bottle. Garrus just watched her patiently until she said, “I’m sure you’ve heard about Akuze.”

“I have,” Garrus answered. “Not much, though.”

Made sense that he hadn't heard much. It was more of an Alliance story, and he'd never inquired much about her past on the SR1.

The Vanguard gave her hair a push back, black strands falling behind her shoulders and showing more of her face. “I was still in Interplanetary Combatives Training at the time,” she started. “I’d made it through the special forces training to be an N6 soldier, which meant that I was put on the frontlines and that I’d be put to task in harsh conditions.”

“Alright,” Garrus said, letting her know that he was listening.

“The Alliance had lost all contact with our men on Akuze. They’d been sent there to determine where and how we’d begin colonization of the planet. They put me in charge of a unit of fifty men and sent us to investigate. Wasn’t supposed to be too hard, just a search and possible rescue. When we got there, there was no one, not a single scientist or surveyor. Night was falling, so I sent out a report and had my men start to make camp. Once it was dark, I had men come to me with reports of strange sounds. I’d had a bad feeling all day, soldier's intuition or something, but then the ground started to shake. Like a groundquake but different. I knew something was going to happen, and then it did.”

“You mean the attack,” he said. “I’ve heard a bit about that.”

“Yeah,” Rhea said, closing her eyes. The faces of her men flashed in her mind for a brief second before she took another swig of her beer. “It all happened so fast. One moment I was trying to calm everyone down. Next thing I know these….  _ things  _ are coming up out of the ground. Alliance had never even heard of thresher maws before, and here we were getting massacred by one of those damn things. Just one, a-and…” 

Her voice cracked as it caught in her throat and she shook, her grip on the beer bottle tightened until her knuckles turned white. Garrus offered her his hand. She stared for a moment, considering it and wondering again when they’d grown so close. He looked as though he was about to withdraw the offer when Rhea latched onto his hand, savoring the physical closeness. His two long fingers closed around the back off her hand carefully. She was happy that they were alone in the mess. Garrus was the only one she wanted to see her weaknesses. 

“Sorry,” she said, her voice quiet. “I… I haven’t really talked about this in a while.”

“It’s alright,” he reassured her, his own voice gentle. “You, uh… you don’t have to go on.”

Rhea shook her head, feeling a bit of determination to finish. She coughed a little to try relaxing her constricted throat, happy that she wasn’t crying. She hated crying. 

Pulling herself back together, she continued with, “No, I don’t mind. I…” She breathed. “I called for an emergency evac for my unit, but it must have been too late. It was chaos on the ground, hardly anyone able to remain calm. It was so loud, fifty men and women in a panic as they watched each other get pulled under or melted away by maw acid. I tried to save them, but it was too late. By the time the evac shuttle got there, I was the only one left. Alliance gave me a damn medal, my N7 designation, and a promotion for surviving the attack. But I wasn’t alive. Not even close.”

His brow plates shifted in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Post traumatic stress disorder,” she explained, using her free hand to give her still loose hair a push back. “It can really fuck with you, if you’re not careful. For a while after that incident I’d have nightmares and flashbacks. I was stuck in those moments, dead to the world. I recognized it when we were dealing with Sidonis, and I almost ended up like him. Thought I was gonna get discharged, but after a lot of counseling, treatment, and numerous conflicting reviews they finally said I was still fit for duty again. Which was a relief, I wasn’t going down that easy.”

“You’re definitely too stubborn to have taken anything less,” he said, a lighthearted tone to his voice.

Rhea cracked a smile and used her free hand to give him a little shove. “Shut up,” she said, barely suppressing a giggle. The Vanguard bit at her lips, her gaze falling down to their hands, her fingers still wrapped tight around her best friend’s. “Thanks, Garrus.”

“What for?”

“For listening. I didn’t mean to ramble for so long,” she said, tucking strands of hair behind her ear. “Like I said, I haven’t talked about that in a while.”

His mandibles twitched in a smile. “Whatever lets you blow off steam.”

She rolled her eyes, letting go of his hand to rub at the tight muscles in her neck. “Garrus, that’s not steam, that’s old bullshit. This ‘suicide mission,’ as everyone keeps calling it… that’s the worst of it.” 

“About that. I’ve been thinking about what we talked about before,” Garrus said, his voice a little more quiet even though they were alone. “Blowing off steam, easing tension.”

She looked up at him, a little nervous but she didn’t let it show. “And...?”

“I’ve never considered cross species intercourse,” he said, quickly adding, “And damn, saying it that way doesn’t help. Now I feel dirty and clinical.” Rhea let out a little chuckle at this. “Are we crazy to even be considering this? I’m not sure…” He seemed nervous, mandibles fluttering anxiously. “Look, Shepard, I know you can find something a little closer to home.”

Rhea made a point of meeting and holding his gaze, looking up at his light blue eyes. “Garrus, I don’t want ‘closer to home,’” she said honestly, giving him a smile she hoped was reassuring. “I want you. I want someone that I trust.”

“I can do that,” he said, though it seemed more like he was trying to reassure himself rather than her. “I’ll find some music and do some, ah... research to figure out how this should work. It’ll either be a night to remember, or a horrible interspecies-awkwardness thing. In which case, fighting the Collectors will be a welcome distraction. So, you know, a win either way.”

She smiled, then looked back at his hand. It was weird to remember that they were aliens to each other, his three fingers to her five just another reminder that she’d dismissed with ease. She reached out to him, putting a hand on his vambrace to close some of the distance between them. “You know, if you’re not comfortable with this, it’s alright. I’m not trying to pressure you into something you don’t want.”

Garrus met her gaze this time. He lowered his voice and his tone was sweet and reassuring as he said, “Shepard, you’re about the only friend I’ve got left in this screwed up galaxy. I’m not going to pretend I’ve got a fetish for humans, but this isn’t about that. This is about us. You don’t ever have to worry about making me uncomfortable. Nervous, yes. But never uncomfortable.”

“Are you sure?” she asked. 

“Positive.”

Rhea smiled again, a little more of her bravery returning with the knowledge that he was so comfortable around her. “So. When should I book the room?”

“I’d wait, if you’re okay with it,” he said. “Disrupt the crew as little as possible… and find that last chance to find some calm just before the storm.” He seemed a little cocky as he straightened up. “You know me, I always like to savor the last shot before popping the heatsink.”

Rhea chose the wrong moment to get a drink, because his unintentional innuendo caused her to choke on her beer. She coughed loudly as Garrus stared at her, alarmed by her reaction, before realization finally dawned in his eyes. 

“Wait,” he said, finally realizing what he'd said. “That metaphor just went somewhere horrible.”

She thumped her chest with her fist, coughing a bit more before she shook her head. “You’re ridiculous, Vakarian.”

He smiled slightly at this, looking her over. “I must be doing something right if you’re still here.” 

The Vanguard smirked, looking up at him. Yes, something was definitely right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I hope that you enjoyed it~! Please consider leaving a comment, I love getting feedback in all of its forms. Until next time, I hope you have a good day <3


	13. Part 1 - Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard-Commander!

* * *

 

The end of it all was growing ever closer. Rhea had made sure that all of her teammates were satisfied with no loose ends to tie up, she’d done everything possible for the _Normandy_ in terms of upgrade, her armor was as good as it could get. And yet she couldn’t help but feel as though there were something more she could do.

It was pointless to worry about it, she soon decided. They had more pressing matters to attend to. Namely retrieving the IFF from the derelict Reaper that the Illusive Man had told her about. She had Joker set their course to the coordinates given to them and got her team together. All seemed to go well as she put her armor on, heading down to the CIC after getting her weapons from the armory.

Alarms blared through the ship as the _Normandy_ shook violently. She tied her hair up and ran to the cockpit, looking through the shutters as she gripped the back of her pilot’s chair to keep steady. She was already in Commander Mode, looking to her pilot and saying, “What’s with all the chop, Joker?”

“Doing my best,” he defended, speaking louder in order to be heard over the alarms. “The wind’s gusting to 500 kph.” He kept control of the ship as he reported, “There’s a second ship alongside the Reaper. It’s not transmitting any IFF, but the ladar paints its silhouette as geth.”

She sighed. “Guess we know what happened to that science team,” she thought out loud. Rhea narrowed her eyes as she stared out the shutter, looking at the gas giant they were nearing that was causing so much trouble with her ship. The _Normandy_ steadied suddenly, the alarms stopping and things returning to normal. “What just happened?”

Joker panned through system reports. “The Reaper’s mass effect fields are still active. We just passed inside the envelope.”

Her stomach sank at this. “Great.”

“Eye of the hurricane, huh?”

Rhea rolled her eyes, pinging Garrus and Tali to meet her at the airlock.

Of all the places Rhea had found herself in, behind inside of a Reaper was one that she’d never thought she’d be in. But here she was, a feeling that she was being watched by some unknown entity making her chest tight. She gripped her shotgun tightly as they ventured in, going through all the records that they found to try and get an idea of what had happened to turn the Reaper into a ghost ship.

“Exploring an abandoned area, expecting something mechanical and nasty to jump out at you,” Garrus said, trying to break the seriousness of the situation. “Just like old times.”

“Doesn’t mean it’s not still creepy,” Rhea countered, stepping carefully.

The three of them were just about to continue into the ship when something powered up, Joker calling in, “Normandy _to shore party!”_

Rhea’s brows furrowed. “What just happened?”

“T _he Reaper put up kinetic barriers, I don’t think we can get through from our side._ ”

“Dammit,” Rhea seethed.

Tali seemed calm as she said, “As curious as I am about Reapers, I’d rather not be trapped inside one.”

“Agreed,” the Vanguard said. She looked around, drumming her fingers against her thigh as she thought. “There’s bound to be some way to turn it off from in here. Any idea how?”

EDI chimed in, “At the moment of activation I detected a heat spike in what is likely the wreck’s mass effect core. Sending coordinates now.” Rhea’s omni-tool pinged and she brought up the location, studying the path until she heard, “Be advised: the core is what is maintaining the wreck’s altitude.”

“So when we take the barriers down to escape, the wreck falls into the planet’s core,” Rhea said, gritting her teeth in irritation.

“ _And that means everyone dies,_ ” Joker said, ever the optimist. “ _Yeah, I get it._ ”

“If any helmsman can pull us off this thing before it reaches crush depth, it’s you,” she said, not too concerned about the danger with Joker as her pilot. “We’ll make a sweep for survivors and recover whatever data we can. Stand by.”

“ _Aye aye, Commander. Good hunting._ ”

“Come on,” Rhea said to her team. “Let’s get what we came for and get out of here.”

They pressed onwards, the smell of death hitting Rhea hard as they came across bodies smeared on the floor before them. She held her breath as she stepped around them.

“Everyone’s dead,” Garrus seemed to think out loud. “I’ve seen this too many times.”

Rhea nodded, going to another console to try and distract from the death around them. From the videos it seemed as though being inside of the Reaper had started to mess with their minds, the scientists sharing memories and hearing things. The geth hadn't been the ones to take out the scientists after all, and it didn’t make Rhea any more willing to stick around longer than necessary. Hearing the sounds of husks coming towards them only made it worse.

Fortunately, husks were easy to kill so long as she didn’t think about the fact that they all used to be people. In this case, the scientists. She kept her shotgun ready as they neared the next corridor.

“Sniper!” Garrus warned, a couple husks going down in front of them. Rhea’s expression shifted into a look of confusion. “I couldn’t see who it was,” he said. “A survivor from the science team, maybe?”

“Maybe,” Rhea echoed, though she doubted it considering how many husks she’d shot.

Even more came up around them, climbing up the platform. Rhea glowed blue as she flung dark energy in the direction of the shambling and glowing blue humanoids, blowing them to pieces and sending a few back down into the void they came from. She didn’t have much trouble with them, none of them getting close. But then she heard a scratchy moan, the sound like someone was clawing at her ears.

“Scion,” she warned, getting behind cover and switching to her heavy pistol. Her mind plotted the field instantly, considering the hulking creature that was far more dangerous than the weak husks. She had to keep her teammates out of its path, the thing able to use crude biotics. It would be better to use herself as a shield. “Tali, get a drone over there.”

“On it,” she said, activating her omni-tool.

“Garrus, switch to sniper and take that thing out, a few good shots from you and Tali should put it down,” she said, adjusting the settings on her pistol to fire incendiary rounds. “I’ll keep the husks off us and support the both of you.”

“You got it.”

She channeled as much energy as she could to reinforce her barrier. She acted as the distraction, pulling the attention of the husks that the scion was herding like sheep. The Vanguard flung dark energy everywhere, clearing a path to the scion and hopefully giving Garrus and Tali a good chance to get some hits in. The hulking monster let out another moan, screeching at her as it sent a wave of dark energy in her way. Rhea cringed, directing her own energy in front of her like a shell to stay on her feet. She stumbled a bit, holding up her pistol and aiming as best she could at the mass of heads that were a lucky weak spot.

The drone kept a majority of the husks occupied as Garrus took out the scion with a perfect shot, the creature toppling over on the ground. Rhea let the energy she was holding together release, forcing the grotesque body over the edge of the platform. She nodded in approval before looking up, her stomach sinking at the sight.

“Fuck,” she swore under her breath.

As though being inside of a Reaper wasn’t creepy enough, with the looming threat of something greater than could be comprehended always watching and the high ‘ceiling’ making them seem smaller than they were, it was the spikes that really did it for her.

“We’ve seen these before, Shepard,” Tali pointed out, stepping to the railing of the platform and looking up. “Dragon’s teeth, as your people call them. The geth used them on Eden Prime.”

Rhea had never heard them called that before, but it worked. She looked them over, her gaze traveling from the dead bodies still mounted on the teeth to the rest of the space.

“See how the room is arranged?” she pointed out. The teeth were a focal point. “They treated this thing like some kind of an altar.”

“That doesn’t seem right,” Tali said, looking around. “No one in their right mind would want this.”

“You heard the logs,” Rhea said, still staring at it. “They were seeing things. Hearing things. They were being indoctrinated. Let’s get out of here before the same happens to us.”

The three of them started back to the next door, Rhea frustratingly trying to hack the door. Once open, however, it lead to a new corridor inside the Reaper. They continued on the platforms, Rhea giving the path a once over before indicating that it was safe enough to continue. She froze as she heard bullets zip past her head, the heads of two husks exploding behind her. Another went down from a clean headshot.

_That sniper again._

She looked up, her brows furrowing at the sight. On a higher platform was a geth, but it had a hole in its side, revealing glowing insides. By its side was a sniper rifle, obviously the one it had used to shoot the husks.

“Shepard-Commander,” it said, its lightbulb head looking down at them.

“What the fuck?” Rhea thought out loud, staring at it as it walked away.

“The sniper was a geth,” Garrus said, almost not believing it. “Since when do geth talk to organics?”

“It shouldn’t be able to talk,” Tali said, a bit irritated. Geth were a touchy subject with the quarian for good reason. “A single geth has no more intelligence than a varren.”

“So we’ve got a special case,” Rhea said. There was a part of her that wanted to follow it, ask it how it knew her name. Maybe ask more questions. It had protected her, after all.

The time for following geth wouldn’t come, it seemed. More husks climbed up the platforms and assaulted Rhea and her teammates. She silently cursed the Illusive Man for recruiting so many scientists and sending them to their doom. The setting wasn’t helping matters. They’d reached where the Reaper had been torn through by something massive, revealing the swirling orange clouds of the dense gas giant they were orbiting. The planet that they might fall into if they didn’t get out in time, but that was a concern for later.

Rhea grew more and more frustrated as she fought through the hordes of husks and the scions that gave them direction. She wiped sweat from her brow as she hid in cover, readying herself to shoot down the creature that was giving her so much shit. Filled with determination, she stood her ground and looked up at the scion that she’d allowed to get so close. She pressed the trigger, bracing herself as the heavy shot went clean through the scion, successfully killing it. Rhea breathed in deeply, keeping her weapon at the ready and moving towards the door her omni-tool told her lead to the Reaper’s mass effect core.

After some more finicky hacking, Rhea got the door open. Her brows furrowed at the sight of another console as she synced up with it. Green eyes widened as her omni-tool found the IFF that they’d been looking for.

“EDI,” she said, pinging back to the _Normandy._ “I found the IFF, I’m sending the data to you as a back-up.”

Tali and Garrus made their own comments about it, but Rhea wasn’t paying much attention. She opened up the final door, her grip on her shotgun tightening as she saw the geth from before become surrounded by husks, the lifeless creatures attacking it until it went down.

Rhea’s eyes narrowed at the husks, mass effect energy lighting up around her as she started up her biotics. She flung a mass of energy towards the small crowd, blowing them up into pieces.

“Okay, you guys. Stay sharp,” she said, starting towards the edge of the wide platform they now stood on. She switched to her pistol, aiming for the core and firing off a number of shots until the shielding around the core shut tight around the massive, glowing ball.

The remains of the science team came up around them, the husks mindlessly protecting their new master. Rhea continued to use her biotics to fling them off of the platform while Tali and Garrus fend them off. After a while the core was revealed again, allowing Rhea to shoot it until it burst.

They didn’t have much time anymore. The geth was still intact, though a bit rattled from the husk assault. She made the command decision to take it with them, despite Tali’s protests.

Rhea activated a button on her omni-tool, telling her suit that it was time to put a helmet on. It formed from the neck of the suit, wrapping around her head and locking in place as she threw the geth over her shoulders. This one wasn’t as sturdy as her detachable number, but it would keep her alive while Joker made his way to their position. She looked up from the edge of the Reaper, smiling as she saw her ship fly up to the protruding platform they were on.

“Open up the portside airlock,” she ordered, running for the ship. She let Tali and Garrus board first, throwing the geth across before leaping after. She backed away from the edge, unnerved. “We’re clear. Let’s get the hell out of here.”

The airlock door closed, the small cabin repressurizing and filling with air. The secondary door unlock, making way into the ship.

“Take that thing down to the AI core, we’ll store it there for now” she instructed a couple of the Cerberus crew. “EDI!”

“Yes, Shepard?” the AI said.

“Keep an eye on your systems, I don’t want any bugs from that thing messing with you,” she said, deactivating her helmet and letting her hair loose. “Keep it isolated in its own field once it’s down there. Miranda’s not gonna be happy about this one.”

“Krogan, asari, turians, salarians, quarians,” Joker said. “And now geth. Really, Commander? A geth? Why can’t you collect something normal and harmless, like coins or something?”

“I’ve got fish,” Rhea reminded him, stepping into the cockpit and looking out the shutters as she rested against the back of his chair. “Those are harmless.”

“I guess it’s a start,” the pilot said, just a little exasperated.

“By the way,” she started, getting him to look in her direction. “Good job saving us down there.”

He smirked, looking back at his console. “Yeah, well, someone has to be there to pull your ass out of the fire.”

“I couldn’t do this without you, Joker,” she said.

He waved off her complimenting. “Oh, don’t get all sappy on me, Commander. People might think you’re not as bad as you are.”

Rhea gave his chair a little shove, jostling him a bit as she let out a light laugh. “I should go.”

“See ya, Commander. Try not to get killed by your new toy.”

She rolled eyes, making her way to the elevator.

Kelly gave Rhea her usual smile as she passed by. “Commander, you have unread messages at your terminal.”

“Thanks, Kelly,” she said, the elevator opening up before her. “I’ll get around to it when I have a chance.”

The yeoman nodded, returning to her station as Rhea went up to her cabin. She stripped off her armor and took a quick shower, cleaning herself from the dust and grime of the day’s mission.

She dried off and combed out her hair, humming an old Earth tune before getting dressed. “EDI,” she said.

“Yes, Shepard?”

“Have Miranda and Jacob report to the comm room,” she said, pulling her hair into a ponytail. “We’ve got some important things to discuss.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope that you enjoyed, please consider leaving some feedback! I love reading people's comments. Until next time, take care <3


	14. Part 1 - Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cooperation furthers mutual goals.

* * *

 

Miranda was all business the moment that they got into the room, looking over the hologram of the geth pulled up on the console.

“I think we need to discuss the unique piece of salvage you recovered from that Reaper,” the operative said. Rhea shifted on her feet, keeping her arms folded across her chest as she went on, “We need better equipment to fight the Reapers. An intact geth would be invaluable to Cerberus’ cyberweapons division.”

“We’ll have to disagree on that, ma’am,” Jacob said. “I saw enough of these things on Eden Prime. Space it.”

Rhea’s gaze shifted to the holo, her brows furrowing at the red stripe down its shoulder.

“Cerberus has a long standing cash bounty for an intact geth,” Miranda argued. “I assure you, the reward is significant.”

“While giving this thing to Cerberus is the last thing I want to do, what I really want to know is why it has N7 armor strapped to its chest,” Rhea said, frowning at it.

“Battle trophy, maybe?” Jacob hypothesized. “Would a machine even care about that?”

Miranda shot down the idea quickly. “No. Trophies imply emotions that AIs don’t have. I doubt it’s more than a convenient field repair.”

The Vanguard still wasn’t certain of that, but she just kept staring at it. “I’ve killed hundreds of these things, but I’ve never actually talked to one,” she thought out loud, then looked up at Miranda. “This one tried to communicate with us. Hell, it probably saved our lives. I wanna know why.”

“Reactivating the geth is a risk,” Miranda warned. She and Rhea had found an understanding of each other, but their opinions still differed greatly. “If you do so it should be for humanity’s best interests and not your curiosity.”

“We both know our ideas of ‘humanity’s best interests’ don’t line up,” Rhea said pointedly. “I’ve already got EDI on high alert, this thing isn’t going to do any damage unless someone really fucks up. I’m not giving it up until we know what we’ve got. I’ll activate it and question it, see what it’ll tell me.”

Miranda seemed frustrated. “If we activate it there’s no guarantee that we can deactivate it again.”

“Bullets can,” Jacob said.

The operative grew more agitated. “That’s not what I-”

“That’s enough,” Rhea cut in, looking up at them. “Both of you. I’ve already made my decision.”

Jacob shook his head, looking away. “Tali’s gonna freak when she hears about this.”

“She doesn’t have to like it,” she said.

The soldier pulled up his omni-tool, activating EDI’s hologram so that she took the place of the image of the geth. “So what about this Reaper IFF?”

The AI spoke this time. “I have determined how to integrate it with our systems. However, it is Reaper technology. Linking it with the _Normandy’s_ systems poses certain risks.”

“We don’t have any other options,” Rhea said. “And I trust you to be careful with the ship. Do what you can.”

“Understood, Shepard,” she said. “It may take several hours before the IFF is ready to shakedown. I will alert you as soon as it is ready.”

“Great,” Rhea said. “Until then, business as usual. Dismissed.”

She walked out of the room and went down the elevator, heading into the medbay and opening up the door that lead to the AI core.

The geth was laid out on a bench on the wall, a Cerberus officer standing guard. He stood at attention when he saw her.

“Be ready,” Rhea said, getting in Commander Mode easily. “I’m turning this thing back on.”

“Aye aye,” the guard said, saluting and taking a step back to give her space.

She activated her omni-tool, tapping controls and putting an energy field between her and the synthetic.

“I have isolated our systems and erected additional firewalls. I am prepared to resist any hacking attempts,” EDI said.

Rhea nodded as she continued her tapping, hitting buttons to remotely try and activate the geth. It sparked a few times before finally the light in its head lit up. She watched as it sat up, almost organically, and stood before her. It towered over her, looking down almost expectedly.

“Can you understand me?” Rhea asked, looking up at it.

“Yes.”

“Are you going to attack me?”

“No.”

“You said my name aboard the Reaper,” she said, looking at it curiously. “Have we met?”

“We know of you.”

Rhea folded her arms across her chest. “You mean I’ve fought a lot of geth.”

“We have never met.”

“No, you and I haven’t. But I’ve met other geth.”

“We are all geth,” it said, confusing her. “And we have never met you. You are Shepard. Commander. Alliance. Human. Fought heretics. Killed by Collectors. Rediscovered on the Old Machine.”

She frowned. “‘Old Machine’? You mean the Reaper.”

“Reaper. A superstitious title originating with the Protheans,” it said, reminding her of an encyclopedia. “We call those entities the Old Machines.”

Nodding, she looked it over. The hole was alarming, but it seemed to be doing fine. “You know a lot about me.”

“Extranet data sources. Insecure broadcasts. All organic data sent out is received,” it said. “We watch you.”

“Do you watch me or organics?” she asked.

“Yes.”

She ground her teeth a little at this response. “Which?”

“Both.”

“Ah. Wonderful.” The geth didn’t know what to make of this, just looking at her as she thought. “What did you mean when you said ‘heretics’?

“Geth build our own future,” it explained, though it was still vague enough to frustrate the Vanguard. “The heretics asked the Old Machines to give them the future. They are no longer a part of us.”

Rhea’s frown remained firmly in place. “Are the Reapers a threat to you, too?”

“Yes,” it said.

“Why would they attack other machines?”

“We are different from them,” it said. “Outside their plans.”

She nodded slowly, considering this. “What future are the geth building?”

“Ours.”

The vague, one worded answers were still irritating her, but the geth seemed harmless. At least to her. “Will anyone else be affected by whatever it is that you’re doing?”

“If they involve themselves, they will.”

The little human nodded slowly again, still considering this. “So. You aren’t allied with the Reapers?”

“We oppose the heretics. We oppose the Old Machines,” it said. “Shepard-Commander opposes the Old Machines. Shepard-Commander opposes the heretics. Cooperation furthers mutual goals.”

Rhea blinked in surprise. “You want to work with me?”

“Yes.”

She let the frown turn into the slightest of smiles as she let down the barrier between them. “Alright. Then what should I call you?”

“Geth,” it said simply.

Rhea’s smile turned into a look of disgust. “No no, I mean you. Specifically.”

“We are all geth.”

She closed her eyes, trying to relax. “What is the individual standing in front of me called?”

“There is no individual. We are geth. There are currently 1,183 programs active within this platform.”

“‘My name is Legion, for we are many’,” EDI chimed in.

“Legion? I guess it works,” Rhea said.

The machine seemed to consider this for a moment. “Christian Bible, the Gospel of Mark, chapter five, verse nine. We accept this as an appropriate metaphor. We are Legion, a terminal of geth. We will integrate with the _Normandy._ ”

Rhea nodded in approval, smiling up at Legion. She held her hand out for a handshake, an action that was mirrored; however, Legion simply held their hand out until Rhea took hold of it and gave it a shake.

Another teammate. Perfect.

A majority of the crew didn’t even think twice about the fact that Rhea had allowed an active geth to remain aboard the _Normandy._ ‘If Commander Shepard can trust it, then so could they’ was the mentality they seemed to have. Even Miranda had lightened up a bit about not turning Legion over to Cerberus. Tali, however, wasn’t as happy. Rhea’s quarian sister figure was frigid towards her, her anger understandable but with what they were up against they couldn’t afford to be picky.

She’d left Legion to analyze data and EDI was still working on the IFF. As they were, they were at a standstill until one of them finished their work. The Illusive Man had given them no more errands, no miscellaneous tasks to complete. The Collectors were the only thing on her mind now.

Rhea sat in the battery on her crate, trying to fix her omni-tool while Garrus continued his own work. Something had caused it to get stuck in the on position, and she poked at the thin bracelet with small tools in an attempt to get it to work properly.

“So, we have a geth on board,” he said. “I bet Tali’s not too happy about that.”

She shrugged. “At this point in the game, we can’t afford to turn down the help. We’re so close…” she trailed off.

“What is it?” Garrus asked, taking a step back from his console.

“Like I said the other day, it feels like we’re reaching the end,” she said, finally fixing the bracelet so that the holo turned off. She slipped it back on her wrist and checked to make sure it would still turn on. The Vanguard lied back on the crate, shifting so that she could prop her feet up on the railing that ran across the width of the room. It had been a long day and she could feel herself getting drowsy. She yawned, shifting a little to get more comfortable.

Garrus let out a light laugh. “Shepard, if you fall asleep in here I’m not carrying you back to your cabin.”

“That’s fair,” she yawned, closing her eyes. “No worries, I won’t fall asleep. Just… just gonna rest my eyes.”

Her turian companion shook his head, giving her a once over before continuing on with his work. Rhea sighed, strangely content.

* * *

 

She’d actually fallen asleep, because of course she had. She could fall asleep practically anywhere. A crate in a comfortably warm room was heavenly by her standards. Which made it all the stranger when she woke to find herself actually rather cold.

The Vanguard opened her eyes, her brows furrowed in confusion as she sat up. She was in her cabin, her fish tank glowing on the wall and a sharp sound echoing around her. It took her a moment to realize it was her omni-tool, someone pinging her. Rhea let out a groan as she sat up, pushing back her hair and answering the call.

“What is it?” she asked groggily.

 _"Commander_ ,” Kelly’s cheery voice said. “ _Legion would like to speak with you as soon as possible_.”

She suppressed a groan, scratching at her scalp. “Alright,” she sighed. “Thank you for telling me, Kelly.”

Rhea got out of bed, part of her wondering how she got to her cabin while the other was certain that Garrus had dragged her ass up the elevator. It must not have been too difficult, she was rather small when compared to him. What she must have looked like…

It was pointless to think about it too much. It was only a matter of time before they went through the Omega 4 relay. Hopefully Legion would be an asset to the team.

She tied up her hair and changed, putting on a new pair of pants and a different tank top, before heading back down to the crew deck. Dr. Chakwas glanced at her, smiling as she walked by and entered the AI core.

“Shepard-Commander,” the geth said as she got close. “We have completed our analysis of the Reaper’s data core.”

“What did you find?” she asked.

“We were sent to the Old Machine to preserve the geth’s future. We are prepared to reveal how.” Rhea looked at Legion expectantly until they said, “The heretics have developed a weapon to use against the geth. You would call it a ‘virus’. It is stored on a data core provided by Sovereign. Over time, the virus will change us. Make us conclude that worshipping the Old Machines is correct.”

“I thought that geth couldn’t get viruses or be hacked?” Rhea said, brows furrowing. “At least, not for more than a few seconds.”

“Altered programs are restored from archives, new installations are deleted. This heretic weapon introduces a subtle operating error in our most basic runtimes. The equivalent of your nervous system,” Legion explained. “An equation with a result of 1.33382 returns as 1.33381. This changes the results of all higher processes. We will reach different conclusions.”

The introduction of numbers into the conversation confused Rhea for a moment, the information processing in her mind as she pinched the bridge of her nose. “Are you telling me that the reason the heretics worship the Reapers is because of a _math_ error?”

“It is difficult to express. Your brain exists as chemistry, electricity. Like AIs, you are shaped by both hardware and software. We are purely software. The heretics’ conclusion is valid for them. Our conclusion is valid for us. Neither is an error.” Legion seemed to think for a second. “An analogy. Heretics say one is less than two. Geth say two is less than three.”

She kinda understood, though tech had never been a particular strong suit for her. “So this virus. If released, how long would it take to spread through your people?”

“We are networked via FTL comm buoys. Most would change within a day. Isolated platforms would remain unaffected until they rejoined the network.”

“Do you know where the data core with this thing is?” she asked.

“The heretics’ headquarters station, on the edge of the Terminus,” Legion said. “We will provide coordinates. _Normandy’s_ stealth systems are necessary to safely approach.”

Rhea was baffled. “The Terminus? Where is this thing?”

“Between stars,” Legion said easily. “Organics have no cause to look there.”

“Why are they building stations outside of geth territory?” she asked.

“The heretics seek improvement from the old machines. In exchange, they help them attack organics. We condemn these judgements.”

She nodded, the realization that Legion was nothing like the machines she’d fought against two years ago truly dawning on her now. “So what’s the plan once we’re inside the station?”

“The geth will disrupt their network. Prevent the station’s defenses from focusing on us,” they explained. “The Reaper core is physically isolated from the network. We will need to be escorted to it to access and destroy the data.”

“Alright,” she said. “I won’t let them brainwash your people, especially not to worship Reapers. I promise you that.”

“We will begin preparations.”

Rhea left the AI core and turned into the mess hall. She smiled up at the cook before helping herself to breakfast. The rest of the crew had already eaten, but there were still some leftovers that looked like real American style biscuits.

“Looks like you’re putting those new provisions to good use,” she said, taking one of the American styled biscuits and biting into it. Her eyes closed and she had to prevent herself from moaning. God, they tasted like real biscuits too. “Oh, damn, that’s good,” she said through a mouthful.

The cook’s eyes lit up at the compliment. “I’m glad you like it, Commander.”

It still felt a little weird to have everyone call her that, considering she wasn’t technically in the Alliance anymore. She grabbed a couple more of the biscuits and stood up on her toes to reach the cupboard for a glass, filling it up with water before taking a seat. She’d need more than this eventually, probably from a nutrient packet, but she sat and indulged in the taste of real food.

She heard a door open and close, putting her on alert. Rhea glanced around, noticing Garrus come out of the battery. She smirked.

“Nice to see you come out of your cave, Vakarian,” she teased, bringing her water to her lips and finishing off the glass.

He glanced at her and she smiled, waving at him a little as he got his food and joined her at her table.

“Maybe next time you can get better dextro rations as well,” he said, gesturing to her breakfast.

“Oh, shit,” she said, eyes widening at the realization. “I’m so sorry, I forget that you and Tali aren’t levo.” He looked up at her, his expression amused. “Tell you what. Next time we’re not saving the galaxy from evil, I’ll take you out for dinner.”

“At this rate, I’ll never eat anything but nutrient paste again,” he joked.

Rhea scoffed and reached across the table to give him a shove. The two smiled at each other and Rhea found herself getting quieter as she remembered the previous night. “So. Am I to assume that you’re the reason I woke up on a surface that’s a little softer than a crate?”

“That’s a safe assumption,” he said.

“What ever happened to not carrying me back to my cabin?” she asked, brushing back a stray lock of hair.

“Well, you snore for one…”

“No, I don’t,” she cut in defensively, pouting a little before realizing what she was doing.

“Not very loudly, but you still snore,” he said, his expression amused. “You were distracting me from my calibrations.”

Rhea rolled her eyes. “Well, excuse me for keeping you from working on _calibrations_ in the middle of the night. Don’t you ever sleep?”

“Occasionally,” he admitted. “I get enough to function normally.”

“You’d better,” she said. “I’m not carrying you if you pass out on a mission. You may have dragged my ass across the ship, but there’s no way in hell I can drag you long distances. I’m not strong enough for _that_.”

“Sure you are,” he said, smirking. “You’re the one that headbutted a krogan so hard he stumbled, after all.”

She shook her head. “I’m also the one who used a barrier to keep my head intact while doing that, and I’m not about to biotically fly you across the _Normandy_. I mean, I could. Easily. But I won’t.”

Garrus laughed at this, the two of them keeping up their banter for a little while longer. Rhea even ignored a ping on her omni-tool to keep chatting with him, casual flirtation and easy conversation keeping them occupied.

It wasn’t enough to completely put the looming threats out of her mind, but it was a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, it's a little longer than I was anticipating because I didn't like leaving it on just that first section, so I hope you enjoyed! Please consider leaving a comment, I adore getting feedback. Until next time, I hope you have a good day <3


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